Home > Author Archives: Horus Focker (page 2)

Author Archives: Horus Focker

Horus is a staff writer here at IS, and a consummate researcher. He is also our resident safety coordinator, and an accomplished public speaker. He likes piña coladas, but thinks getting caught in the rain is a sure recipe for catching a cold. We think he may indulge in a little too much ganja, but he writes OK, so...

Donald Trump replaces George Washington painting in Oval Office with Vigo the Carpathian

Donald Trump replaces George Washington painting in Oval Office with Vigo the Carpathian34 votes / 4.3 Stars Redecoration of the Oval Office is a tradition.  Some presidents change the order of the artwork, the furniture, the paint, the wallpaper.  Some even replace everything.  From the pastel blue of the Carter years to that same rug used by Reagan, George W. Bush, and Obama, things in the office either change or don’t based on the whim of the man in the chair.  Trump has decorated the office in familiar Trump style, replacing the maroon curtains with gold ones.  Several art objects have been eliminated or added. Reports that the bust of Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. was removed proved to be ...

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Madonna Owes Me A BJ – Claims Clinton Voter

Madonna Owes Me A BJ – Claims Clinton Voter5 votes / 5 Stars   A man, who wishes to remain anonymous until events unfurl, has written a letter to Madonna thanking her for her offer of a blowjob in exchange for casting his vote for Hillary Clinton in the 2016 Presidential election.  In an effort to not only meet but gain some intimacy with his teenage crush, he leaped at the offer.   On Tuesday, 18 October 2016, while appearing, unplanned, to introduce Comedian Amy Schumer to her audience in New York, the pop star made the following statement. If you vote for Hillary Clinton, I will give you a blow job, Ok? I’m really good. I’m not a douche and ...

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Women March on Washington DC, Men March for a Sammich

Women March on Washington DC, Men March for a Sammich4 votes / 5 Stars LOS ANGELES, CA – Women have taken to the streets in an effort to protest the election of Donald Trump on the day after his inauguration. The reasons were outlined in a Youtube video and a well-organized campaign to entice women and men who support their cause to get out and march. The verbiage on the website is moving including such statements as, “In the spirit of democracy and honoring the champions of human rights, dignity, and justice who have come before us, we join in diversity to show our presence in numbers too great to ignore.” Who could take issue?  These days, it’s not hard ...

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ODNI Releases Assessment of Russian Hacking that’s Completely Useless

ODNI Releases Assessment of Russian Hacking that’s Completely Useless2 votes / 5 Stars Washington DC – The Office of the Director of National Intelligence (ODNI) released a public, unclassified version of their Russian hacking assessment titled Background to “Assessing Russian Activities and Intentions in Recent US Elections”: The Analytic Process and Cyber Incident Attribution.  The title is as dry as they could make it, perhaps as a means of turning people away from actually reading it.  We are including it here in its entirety so that you can read it as well, should you wish.  If not, we have taken the liberty of digesting it into bite-sized bullet points.  Here they are in no particular order Some people on Twitter who support ...

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Russia hacked The Voice Results, US intel believes

Russia hacked The Voice Results, US intel believes4 votes / 5 Stars Washington DC – Russian hackers breached accounts of Dancing with the Stars individuals and organizations prior to the public vote — including Dancing with the Stars members, thought leaders and non-profits tied to Dancing with the Stars — a former senior law enforcement official with direct knowledge of the investigation told Immediate Safety Monday. Since most of the Dancing with the Stars material was not released, whereas the emails of The Voice groups and officials were made public, the intelligence community has growing confidence that hacking of US reality TV votes was meant to steer the US election toward Sundance Head.  In addition, there is evidence that entities connected ...

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POLL: Who Should be Immediate Safety’s Person of the Year for 2016?

POLL: Who Should be Immediate Safety’s Person of the Year for 2016?5 votes / 5 Stars We have narrowed down our person of the year nominees for 2016 and figured it would be prudent to ask our readers for input.  Feel free to vote below and let us know if we chose worthy candidates in the comments. +150

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Vermin Supreme: A Peaceful Protest Erupts Alongside Violent Ones

Vermin Supreme: A Peaceful Protest Erupts Alongside Violent Ones6 votes / 5 Stars It’s no secret that we have enthusiastically endorsed the candidacy of Vermin Supreme.  We felt that his platform was the only one firmly rooted in reality.  While he didn’t win the election, we feel his message was heard and may play an important part in the discussion going forward.  This is evidenced by the number of pony protestors who were not hired by George Soros to incite violence and burn things.   Instead, they ventured out on their own to make only sensible demands.  If you’re still not familiar, read on. More people are becoming aware of zombies and the existential threat they pose.  Most presidents have ...

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Um… WTF just happened?

Um… WTF just happened?2 votes / 5 Stars Seriously.  We’ve been drinking.  I think we dreamed it, but did that just happen?  No foolin’? 00

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RAW FOOTAGE – DNC Illegally Dumps Enormous Amount of Campaign Promises

RAW FOOTAGE – DNC Illegally Dumps Enormous Amount of Campaign Promises11 votes / 4.9 Stars The DNC was caught dumping a tremendous amount of waste, and probably some fraud and abuse, in a storm drain in Lawrenceville, GA.  The film below is from our affiliate station in Georgia, WGCL gave us this video. +950

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Sounding: What it is, and Why You Should NEVER Google it

Sounding: What it is, and Why You Should NEVER Google it3 votes / 5 Stars We’ve written before about polyembolokoilamania and the freakish thing it actually is.  We’ve even written about one particular subset of that practice known as gerbiling.  We’ve recently learned of another subset of this condition known as sounding.  Sounding is the practice of inserting objects of ever-increasing width into the urethra (usually in men) in an effort to widen it.  They actually sell kits for the DIY sounder.  We really don’t understand the reason behind it, but we do understand that people are doing it.  Once you get past the inevitable cringe moment and the obligatory, “But, why?” you’re left with only protecting the weirdos who ...

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