Home > Author Archives: Horus Focker (page 2)

Author Archives: Horus Focker

Horus is a staff writer here at IS, and a consummate researcher. He is also our resident safety coordinator, and an accomplished public speaker. He likes piña coladas, but thinks getting caught in the rain is a sure recipe for catching a cold. We think he may indulge in a little too much ganja, but he writes OK, so...

POLL: Who Should be Immediate Safety’s Person of the Year for 2016?

POLL: Who Should be Immediate Safety’s Person of the Year for 2016? 5 votes / 5 Stars We have narrowed down our person of the year nominees for 2016 and figured it would be prudent to ask our readers for input.  Feel free to vote below and let us know if we chose worthy candidates in the comments. +150

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Vermin Supreme: A Peaceful Protest Erupts Alongside Violent Ones

Vermin Supreme: A Peaceful Protest Erupts Alongside Violent Ones 6 votes / 5 Stars It’s no secret that we have enthusiastically endorsed the candidacy of Vermin Supreme.  We felt that his platform was the only one firmly rooted in reality.  While he didn’t win the election, we feel his message was heard and may play an important part in the discussion going forward.  This is evidenced by the number of pony protestors who were not hired by George Soros to incite violence and burn things.   Instead, they ventured out on their own to make only sensible demands.  If you’re still not familiar, read on. More people are becoming aware of zombies and the existential threat they pose.  Most presidents ...

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Um… WTF just happened?

Um… WTF just happened? 2 votes / 5 Stars Seriously.  We’ve been drinking.  I think we dreamed it, but did that just happen?  No foolin’? 00

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RAW FOOTAGE – DNC Illegally Dumps Enormous Amount of Campaign Promises

RAW FOOTAGE – DNC Illegally Dumps Enormous Amount of Campaign Promises 11 votes / 4.91 Stars The DNC was caught dumping a tremendous amount of waste, and probably some fraud and abuse, in a storm drain in Lawrenceville, GA.  The film below is from our affiliate station in Georgia, WGCL gave us this video. +950

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Sounding: What it is, and Why You Should NEVER Google it

Sounding: What it is, and Why You Should NEVER Google it 3 votes / 5 Stars We’ve written before about polyembolokoilamania and the freakish thing it actually is.  We’ve even written about one particular subset of that practice known as gerbiling.  We’ve recently learned of another subset of this condition known as sounding.  Sounding is the practice of inserting objects of ever-increasing width into the urethra (usually in men) in an effort to widen it.  They actually sell kits for the DIY sounder.  We really don’t understand the reason behind it, but we do understand that people are doing it.  Once you get past the inevitable cringe moment and the obligatory, “But, why?” you’re left with only protecting the weirdos ...

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Social Justice Warriors Accuse Man of Hate Speech for Making Fun of Himself

Social Justice Warriors Accuse Man of Hate Speech for Making Fun of Himself 4 votes / 4.75 Stars BERKLEY, California – A recent bout of social justice ended with a man shamed into believing in himself.  Reminiscent of the time the transgender community, no doubt spurred by the Tumblr social justice warrior community, chastised the trans icon RuPaul for daring to use the word ‘tranny,’ it seems social justice has come full circle to being absurd. Dashawn Márquez, a gay, black, paraplegic, with an adoptive Mexican mother recently told a joke about himself which resulted in the firestorm of hate, vitriol, and malice from hordes of social justice warriors (SJWs).  His joke, which we admit is pretty funny, was just a ...

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Spousal Murder Far Less Expensive Than Divorce

Spousal Murder Far Less Expensive Than Divorce 6 votes / 5 Stars We’ve all seen episodes of Forensic Files and Snapped and wondered why or how a person could murder their spouse.  Isn’t it easier to just get a divorce and be done with it?  Turns out, the answer to that question is a resounding ‘no.’  The bridal industry, an industry designed to infantilize women and sell them a false ideal which starts their marriage out on the worst possible footing, debt, is a $2 Billion a year industry.  The divorce industry in the US alone is worth easily 15 times that just in attorney’s fees.  The real numbers are staggering, and some claim the number is close to $30 Billion.  It’s a ...

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Confirmed: Hillary Clinton Murdered a Baby With a Hammer

Confirmed: Hillary Clinton Murdered a Baby With a Hammer 8 votes / 4 Stars That’s right, folks.  Hillary Clinton, the de facto Democratic nominee, and potential next president of the united states beat a tiny, innocent baby to death with a hammer.  Can you believe it? It has recently come to our attention that the vast majority of Americans would love to believe the above headline.  The sad fact is, many of them will share this without ever reading more than the headline.  The best part of the whole thing is, if you don’t tell them, they’ll never know. How many of your friends won’t bother reading this before they share it?  I wonder. Read it, then share it.  Don’t ...

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Survey: 60% of Male Pokémon GO Players Think a ‘Vulva’ is a Car

Survey: 60% of Male Pokémon GO Players Think a ‘Vulva’ is a Car 5 votes / 5 Stars If you haven’t heard of Pokémon Go yet, odds are you were recently rescued from your political internment in North Korea or just woke from a coma that began a year ago.  It seems like everyone is on the bandwagon.  The amazing thing about the game is the broad swath of players it has.  From children to adults in their 60’s, everyone is playing.  The Pew Research Institute decided to gather some statistics, and while they aren’t finished yet, the preliminary results are staggering. For instance, the average GO player has seen Attack on Titan 3 times already.  If you haven’t seen ...

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Comparing GOP and Dems to Assholes Offensive to Assholes

Comparing GOP and Dems to Assholes Offensive to Assholes 6 votes / 5 Stars Recent developments in US politics have many people hurling insulting phrases in the direction of both major political parties.  The Democratic party has fractured over the obvious voter fraud and corruption used to shove Hillary Clinton through the primary process like rancid pork through an industrial sausage press.  The Republicans are in turmoil because Donald Trump is only either loved or hated by the entire world, Republicans included.  Notoriously, House Speaker Paul Ryan refused to endorse the party’s de facto candidate. This has lead to a virtual perfect storm of vitriol and name calling the likes of which we have never seen. Now people across America ...

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