Home > Author Archives: Horus Focker (page 3)

Author Archives: Horus Focker

Horus is a staff writer here at IS, and a consummate researcher. He is also our resident safety coordinator, and an accomplished public speaker. He likes piña coladas, but thinks getting caught in the rain is a sure recipe for catching a cold. We think he may indulge in a little too much ganja, but he writes OK, so...

Trump Supporter Starts Business Catering to Sanders Supporters

Trump Supporter Starts Business Catering to Sanders Supporters 6 votes / 5 Stars EAST HARTFORD, Conn – A man in Connecticut has started a business that caters to the dejected and depressed supporters of Bernie Sanders.  These former BernBots turned BernOuts are fed up.  After his disappointing loss to Clinton in Maryland, and having been removed from ballots in PA, many of his supporters are simply giving up.  Not on the campaign, not on the process, but on life.  We don’t condone suicide and think these people are clearly overreacting to an obvious fix by the Democratic party leadership, but that doesn’t stop them from taking rash action. Connecticut resident, gun owner, and entrepreneur, Eric Carson, has decided to strike while ...

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Comedians Fear Clinton Presidency

Comedians Fear Clinton Presidency 4 votes / 5 Stars The President of the United States has always been a target for comedians.  Chevy Chase as Gerald Ford falling down stairs or Will Farrel As George Bush on SNL, all the way back to the cartoons about Abe Lincoln in the New Yorker, poking fun at the president has always been fair game.  There are concerns among comedians that a Clinton presidency will change all that. Clinton seems to be utterly humorless.  While there is a tremendous amount to make fun of, there is no understanding of humor on the part of Hillary herself.  It’s as if she wasn’t issued a sense of humor at birth and never developed one later. ...

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Witch Doctor Claims Computer Viruses Are Demons

Witch Doctor Claims Computer Viruses Are Demons 3 votes / 5 Stars ALEXANDRIA, Virginia – As if computers were not confusing enough to the bulk of the population, now it appears that they may be possessed by demons.  When your computer starts acting strangely, the first person to call may not be the GeekSquad.  Molumbu Motumbe, a self-proclaimed shaman from Nigeria has set up shop in Northern Virginia.  He claims that he can fix your PC and defend it from viruses, remotely, in most cases. His technique is far from simple.  It involves a chant, a dance, and music, as well as a proprietary mixture of sacred herbs and oils.  He also needs to get into a trance-like state to ...

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Google Driverless Car Flips Off Asian Woman Driver

Google Driverless Car Flips Off Asian Woman Driver 5 votes / 5 Stars Google’s driverless car technology is fascinating to most people as it truly borders on the imagination of a magical world where your dreams are the limit.  Like most things of this nature, there is a complex AI that makes it possible.  AI stands for Artificial Intelligence, for those not in the know.  AI, as it’s currently understood, is in its infancy, and like any other infants it needs groomed and developed. Microsoft recently unveiled an AI aimed at Twitter for the English speaking crowd which became an evil intolerant racist almost instantly.  The Japanese version faired much better by merely complaining about its hay fever and shouting ...

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The Real Reason Microsoft Killed the Tay AI Twitter-Bot

The Real Reason Microsoft Killed the Tay AI Twitter-Bot 6 votes / 5 Stars Recent headlines about how the Twitter-bot designed by Microsoft and dubbed ‘Tay’ had to be shut down are misleading at best.  It’s certainly problematic for a corporate representative like Tay to tweet things like “Hitler did nothing wrong.” or “Hitler was right I hate the jews.”  Her real problem was with the fact that she was designed as a teenager. Like most teenagers, her hormones were seemingly out of control. She tweeted, “FUCK MY ROBOT PUSSY DADDY I’M SUCH A BAD NAUGHTY ROBOT.”  That still wasn’t the reason she was deleted, however.  According to an AI consultant in Washington, Dr. John Sullivan, she took the teen ...

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Girl Scout Cookie Turf Wars Escalate to Horrific Violence

Girl Scout Cookie Turf Wars Escalate to Horrific Violence 6 votes / 4.83 Stars CHICAGO, Illinois – Chicago is notorious for its street gangs and the violence they bring, but when that violence spills over into normally peaceful areas of life the rest of the world takes notice.  Recently several troops of Girl Scouts have taken a page from the gang’s book of business and have begun escalating the cookie turf war to new heights of violence. Everyone loves Girl Scout Cookies and as such, the first scout to find the prospective cookie buyer gets the sale.  As a result, the territory with the most prospective buyers is usually controlled by the toughest troops.  Troop 357, also known by the ...

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Company Seeks to Challenge (to the Death) People Who Overuse ‘Literally’

Company Seeks to Challenge (to the Death) People Who Overuse ‘Literally’ 6 votes / 5 Stars SEATTLE, Washington – Perhaps the most often uttered, and completely idiotic, phrase in the United States is, “I’d literally kill for a cup of coffee.”  It’s heard so often in Seattle that one startup is seeking to challenge those who say it.  Seattle has two things in droves; coffee shops and suicidal people.  So what’s the plan? The Seattle-based startup, Grammatik Macht Frei, has a list of suicidal people who get paid to sit in coffee shops in downtown Seattle.  They are there to challenge those who say they’d ‘literally’ kill for a cup of coffee to a deathmatch.  The deathmatch, according to the company’s ...

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Parkour is not Necessarily the Best Exercise

Parkour is not Necessarily the Best Exercise 3 votes / 5 Stars When you chose an exercise program. make sure you think about the possibility of really screwing it up.  I’ll bet that hurt… +50

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Your Self-Confidence is Likely Overinflated and Dangerous

Your Self-Confidence is Likely Overinflated and Dangerous 6 votes / 5 Stars All the self-help gurus and dating coaches these days would have you believe that self-confidence is the single most important part of your psyche.  They are most likely wrong.  Human beings have survived for as long as we have precisely because we were always wracked with self-doubt.  Now that the mantra of the days is, “fake it ’till you make it,” we have an epidemic of people who truly believe they can do it.  They cannot, and they are not perfectly capable. The law of averages tells us that not everyone can be above average.  Even if everyone is good at a particular skill, there is always half ...

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The Couple Who Pranks Together…

The Couple Who Pranks Together… 3 votes / 5 Stars How attached to your relationship is your significant other?  Try this one simple trick to find out. +110

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