Home > Author Archives: Horus Focker (page 4)

Author Archives: Horus Focker

Horus is a staff writer here at IS, and a consummate researcher. He is also our resident safety coordinator, and an accomplished public speaker. He likes piña coladas, but thinks getting caught in the rain is a sure recipe for catching a cold. We think he may indulge in a little too much ganja, but he writes OK, so...

What Your Pizza Crust Choice Says About You

What Your Pizza Crust Choice Says About You 4 votes / 5 Stars We all love pizza (unless there is something wrong with us).  Everyone has topping preferences, and some even have sauce preferences.  Pizza is so beloved that even those who can’t eat cheese and gluten have options.  We’ll bet you weren’t aware of the fact that the crust you choose can tell others about your personality.  Below is a partial list of crust choices and what they mean for your psychological profile. Thin Crust – This pastry like, flaky, crust is odd for pizza, because it’s usually found in desserts.  People who prefer it don’t like to be weighed down with all kinds of unnecessary structure and rules. ...

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Beaker and Honeydew: A Shining Example of How Not to Science

Beaker and Honeydew: A Shining Example of How Not to Science 3 votes / 5 Stars Here at Immediate Safety, we take health and safety very seriously. Therefore, we present to you this video which shines a light on many improper ideas and techniques that you should avoid. Special thanks to Beaker and Dr. Bunsen Honeydew. Do not try this at home. +190

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Global Warming Critics Conspicuously Silent During Heat Waves

Global Warming Critics Conspicuously Silent During Heat Waves 4 votes / 5 Stars Have you ever noticed how the same people who say, “How about that global warming.” when it’s frigid outside never say a thing when it’s 70° in the middle of February?  I didn’t really have a point to this, but seriously.  If you’re going to say it when it’s cold, why not point out your own hypocrisy when it’s way too hot? +110

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The Big Lebowski the Most Important Teaching Film of Our Time

The Big Lebowski the Most Important Teaching Film of Our Time 4 votes / 5 Stars The Big Lebowski is often cited as one of the weirdest, or best films of the modern era.  There’s even a religion based on the teachings of its main character, The Dude.  The Coen Brothers did a fine job of making a film about nothing where nothing changes and no one wins, and making that story arch wildly entertaining.  But what you may not have noticed when watching it all those times is the strong undercurrent of life-lessons.  There are more safety / life lessons in the film than most will ever realize. For instance: If you don’t keep your doors properly locked, a ...

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Therapists Recommend a Combination of Marijuana and Bob Ross for Anxiety

Therapists Recommend a Combination of Marijuana and Bob Ross for Anxiety 7 votes / 5 Stars SEATTLE, Washington – Anxiety is a tremendous problem in the western world.  It’s more pronounced among intellectuals and intelligent people.  The more intelligent a person, the more likely they are to experience anxiety on a chronic or clinical basis.  It’s gotten so bad that nearly 20% of the civilized world can be diagnosed with anxiety disorders or a combination of anxiety and depressive disorders.  Many point to the hectic pace of western life as the culprit, but the cause is still under investigation. Since we don’t know the cause, what about the cure?  Most in the psychological community don’t talk in terms of cures, but ...

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Your Office Chair May Be Trying to Kill You

Your Office Chair May Be Trying to Kill You 6 votes / 5 Stars Odds are, you’re sitting in an office chair at this very moment.  Odds are you know very little about that chair.  You probably don’t know where it was made, by whom it was made, or how it was made.  You probably don’t even know what all the controls do.  For instance, what’s that knob under the middle for?  You’ve turned it 20 times, and it doesn’t seem to do anything.  Once in a while you bang on one of the levers with your foot and nearly flip backward because the chair has a recline feature you didn’t know existed. Did you get a manual with your ...

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List of People Fleeing the Country if Trump Elected

List of People Fleeing the Country if Trump Elected 4 votes / 5 Stars A tremendous number of people have publicly stated their desire to flee the country if Donald Trump is elected. Their reasons are many and varied, but the list is growing. Below is a partial and ongoing list of celebrities (because, who cares about the little guy) who have made it known that Trump is not their guy. Reverend Al Sharpton – “If Donald Trump is the nominee, I’m open to support anyone [else], while I’m also reserving my ticket to get out of here if he wins, only because he’d probably have me deported anyway…” CEO Barry Diller – He plans to move or join the resistance. ...

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Government Studies Too Expensive, Usually Have Bad Results

Government Studies Too Expensive, Usually Have Bad Results 3 votes / 5 Stars A recent study conducted by the National Science Foundation, costing a whopping $1 billion, which sought to quantify the efficacy and efficiency of scientific studies, has concluded.  The study was funded by the National Science Foundation, a government function, which means the funds came from taxpayers.  The shocking part of the study is not the price tag, or the organization which performed the study, it was the results. The study found that government funded studies are severely over priced, and more often than not, the results of those studies cannot be trusted.  The head of the study, Dr. Vég Noel, wasn’t even sure if the results of the study should ...

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Leading Cause of Death in the US/UK: Being a Rock Star Over 45?

Leading Cause of Death in the US/UK: Being a Rock Star Over 45? 5 votes / 5 Stars With the recent deaths of notable rock and roll celebrities like David Bowie and Glenn Frey, and the repeated news of deaths from the music community on a daily basis, many musicians are starting to ask questions.  The most common question is some variant of ‘WTF is going on with musicians?’ The fervor started with the death of Long John Hunter on the 4th of January, and hasn’t let up since.  We’ve lost such notables as Lemmy Kilminster, Dan Hicks, Maurice White, Paul Katner, and the aforementioned Bowie and Frey.  The first two months of 2016 have been horrible for music lovers everywhere. ...

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Florida Company Says: Safer Meth Labs on the Horizon

Florida Company Says: Safer Meth Labs on the Horizon 5 votes / 5 Stars TALLAHASSEE, Florida – There is scarcely a person alive in the United States who has never heard of Crystal Meth, or Methamphetamine, or Meth, as it’s known by those with street cred.  Thanks to shows like Breaking Bad, it’s also known by people who don’t use it but may be considering it.  The Internet is awash with jokes and memes about the drug that give us all a giggle and help our feeling of superiority.  The knowledge non-users tend to have about it revolves around the danger of addiction and the health issues that arise from it.  Only slightly less well known is the danger of ...

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