Home > Author Archives: Horus Focker (page 4)

Author Archives: Horus Focker

Horus is a staff writer here at IS, and a consummate researcher. He is also our resident safety coordinator, and an accomplished public speaker. He likes piña coladas, but thinks getting caught in the rain is a sure recipe for catching a cold. We think he may indulge in a little too much ganja, but he writes OK, so...

Company Seeks to Challenge (to the Death) People Who Overuse ‘Literally’

Company Seeks to Challenge (to the Death) People Who Overuse ‘Literally’6 votes / 5 Stars SEATTLE, Washington – Perhaps the most often uttered, and completely idiotic, phrase in the United States is, “I’d literally kill for a cup of coffee.”  It’s heard so often in Seattle that one startup is seeking to challenge those who say it.  Seattle has two things in droves; coffee shops and suicidal people.  So what’s the plan? The Seattle-based startup, Grammatik Macht Frei, has a list of suicidal people who get paid to sit in coffee shops in downtown Seattle.  They are there to challenge those who say they’d ‘literally’ kill for a cup of coffee to a deathmatch.  The deathmatch, according to the company’s by-laws, ...

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Parkour is not Necessarily the Best Exercise

Parkour is not Necessarily the Best Exercise3 votes / 5 Stars When you chose an exercise program. make sure you think about the possibility of really screwing it up.  I’ll bet that hurt… +50

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Your Self-Confidence is Likely Overinflated and Dangerous

Your Self-Confidence is Likely Overinflated and Dangerous6 votes / 5 Stars All the self-help gurus and dating coaches these days would have you believe that self-confidence is the single most important part of your psyche.  They are most likely wrong.  Human beings have survived for as long as we have precisely because we were always wracked with self-doubt.  Now that the mantra of the days is, “fake it ’till you make it,” we have an epidemic of people who truly believe they can do it.  They cannot, and they are not perfectly capable. The law of averages tells us that not everyone can be above average.  Even if everyone is good at a particular skill, there is always half the ...

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The Couple Who Pranks Together…

The Couple Who Pranks Together…3 votes / 5 Stars How attached to your relationship is your significant other?  Try this one simple trick to find out. +110

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What Your Pizza Crust Choice Says About You

What Your Pizza Crust Choice Says About You4 votes / 5 Stars We all love pizza (unless there is something wrong with us).  Everyone has topping preferences, and some even have sauce preferences.  Pizza is so beloved that even those who can’t eat cheese and gluten have options.  We’ll bet you weren’t aware of the fact that the crust you choose can tell others about your personality.  Below is a partial list of crust choices and what they mean for your psychological profile. Thin Crust – This pastry like, flaky, crust is odd for pizza, because it’s usually found in desserts.  People who prefer it don’t like to be weighed down with all kinds of unnecessary structure and rules. The ...

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Beaker and Honeydew: A Shining Example of How Not to Science

Beaker and Honeydew: A Shining Example of How Not to Science3 votes / 5 Stars Here at Immediate Safety, we take health and safety very seriously. Therefore, we present to you this video which shines a light on many improper ideas and techniques that you should avoid. Special thanks to Beaker and Dr. Bunsen Honeydew. Do not try this at home. +190

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Global Warming Critics Conspicuously Silent During Heat Waves

Global Warming Critics Conspicuously Silent During Heat Waves4 votes / 5 Stars Have you ever noticed how the same people who say, “How about that global warming.” when it’s frigid outside never say a thing when it’s 70° in the middle of February?  I didn’t really have a point to this, but seriously.  If you’re going to say it when it’s cold, why not point out your own hypocrisy when it’s way too hot? +110

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The Big Lebowski the Most Important Teaching Film of Our Time

The Big Lebowski the Most Important Teaching Film of Our Time4 votes / 5 Stars The Big Lebowski is often cited as one of the weirdest, or best films of the modern era.  There’s even a religion based on the teachings of its main character, The Dude.  The Coen Brothers did a fine job of making a film about nothing where nothing changes and no one wins, and making that story arch wildly entertaining.  But what you may not have noticed when watching it all those times is the strong undercurrent of life-lessons.  There are more safety / life lessons in the film than most will ever realize. For instance: If you don’t keep your doors properly locked, a chinaman ...

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Therapists Recommend a Combination of Marijuana and Bob Ross for Anxiety

Therapists Recommend a Combination of Marijuana and Bob Ross for Anxiety7 votes / 5 Stars SEATTLE, Washington – Anxiety is a tremendous problem in the western world.  It’s more pronounced among intellectuals and intelligent people.  The more intelligent a person, the more likely they are to experience anxiety on a chronic or clinical basis.  It’s gotten so bad that nearly 20% of the civilized world can be diagnosed with anxiety disorders or a combination of anxiety and depressive disorders.  Many point to the hectic pace of western life as the culprit, but the cause is still under investigation. Since we don’t know the cause, what about the cure?  Most in the psychological community don’t talk in terms of cures, but effective ...

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Your Office Chair May Be Trying to Kill You

Your Office Chair May Be Trying to Kill You6 votes / 5 Stars Odds are, you’re sitting in an office chair at this very moment.  Odds are you know very little about that chair.  You probably don’t know where it was made, by whom it was made, or how it was made.  You probably don’t even know what all the controls do.  For instance, what’s that knob under the middle for?  You’ve turned it 20 times, and it doesn’t seem to do anything.  Once in a while you bang on one of the levers with your foot and nearly flip backward because the chair has a recline feature you didn’t know existed. Did you get a manual with your chair? ...

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