Home > Author Archives: Horus Focker (page 5)

Author Archives: Horus Focker

Your Office Chair May Be Trying to Kill You

Odds are, you’re sitting in an office chair at this very moment.  Odds are you know very little about that chair.  You probably don’t know where it was made, by whom it was made, or how it was made.  You probably don’t even know what all the controls do.  For instance, what’s that knob under the middle for?  You’ve turned ...

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List of People Fleeing the Country if Trump Elected

A tremendous number of people have publicly stated their desire to flee the country if Donald Trump is elected. Their reasons are many and varied, but the list is growing. Below is a partial and ongoing list of celebrities (because, who cares about the little guy) who have made it known that Trump is not their guy. Reverend Al Sharpton ...

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Government Studies Too Expensive, Usually Have Bad Results

A recent study conducted by the National Science Foundation, costing a whopping $1 billion, which sought to quantify the efficacy and efficiency of scientific studies, has concluded.  The study was funded by the National Science Foundation, a government function, which means the funds came from taxpayers.  The shocking part of the study is not the price tag, or the organization which performed ...

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Florida Company Says: Safer Meth Labs on the Horizon

TALLAHASSEE, Florida – There is scarcely a person alive in the United States who has never heard of Crystal Meth, or Methamphetamine, or Meth, as it’s known by those with street cred.  Thanks to shows like Breaking Bad, it’s also known by people who don’t use it but may be considering it.  The Internet is awash with jokes and memes ...

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Thirteen Questions With Hillary Clinton

We’re not even sure how a rinky-dink outfit like us scored this interview.  I think some confused staffer dropped us in the wrong pile.  More likely than that, it wasn’t her, but some sound-alike with good talking points.  Either way, we spoke to the political equivalent of…  well…  Hillary Clinton. IS – Madam Secretary, Who is Ben Gazhi and why do ...

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New Marijuana Game, Smokémon, Killing Kids

With widespread acceptance of marijuana culture and use, a new danger has arisen for children.  Like college kids and frat houses love their drinking games, it was only a matter of time before a smoking game caught on.  The game is called Smokémon, and it’s a lot like a trading card game, only with actual marijuanas.  We all know that marijuanas ...

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Least Safe Thing About Teen Dating: Her Father

Teenagers date.  It’s a natural part of the process of growing up.  They also do all manner of things fathers don’t want to think about.  This fact has given rise to the DADD movement, among others.  DADD stands for Dads Against Daughters Dating.  This idea is generally limited to fathers of good looking daughters, but looks are a very subjective ...

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Oscar Surprise: Footballer Bryan Carrasco Nominated for Best Actor

HOLLYWOOD, Ca – The Academy Awards (AKA the Oscars) have long been the goal of actors the world over.  The award has historically only gone to screen actors, but with waning popularity of award shows, the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences (or the Academy, for short) has entertained ideas for bringing back the popularity of the event.  They’ve tried ...

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