Home > Author Archives: Horus Focker (page 5)

Author Archives: Horus Focker

Horus is a staff writer here at IS, and a consummate researcher. He is also our resident safety coordinator, and an accomplished public speaker. He likes piña coladas, but thinks getting caught in the rain is a sure recipe for catching a cold. We think he may indulge in a little too much ganja, but he writes OK, so...

Congress Proposes ‘Rape Free Zone’ Legislation to Curb Sexual Assault

Congress Proposes ‘Rape Free Zone’ Legislation to Curb Sexual Assault 12 votes / 5 Stars WASHINGTON, DC – Rape is an issue on the minds of many women and men across the Unites States, and our congress has finally started to take notice.  Freshman congresswoman, Norma Torres (D), California, has seen the horrors that grip society from coast to coast related to America’s apparent rape culture and refuses to allow it to continue. She has drafted legislation in conjunction with feminist interests to take a page from the anti-gun movement.  The proposal is to make rape even more illegal in certain ‘rape free’ zones. Like gun free zones, rape free zones will have certain default locations, as well as leaving ...

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Thirteen Questions With Hillary Clinton

Thirteen Questions With Hillary Clinton 7 votes / 5 Stars We’re not even sure how a rinky-dink outfit like us scored this interview.  I think some confused staffer dropped us in the wrong pile.  More likely than that, it wasn’t her, but some sound-alike with good talking points.  Either way, we spoke to the political equivalent of…  well…  Hillary Clinton. IS – Madam Secretary, Who is Ben Gazhi and why do we keep hearing his name? HC – My girl should have told you that I wasn’t answering questions about that, but since she didn’t…  does it even matter?  I don’t know who he is, or why I spent all that time in front of congress talking about him, but I ...

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New Marijuana Game, Smokémon, Killing Kids

New Marijuana Game, Smokémon, Killing Kids 11 votes / 5 Stars With widespread acceptance of marijuana culture and use, a new danger has arisen for children.  Like college kids and frat houses love their drinking games, it was only a matter of time before a smoking game caught on.  The game is called Smokémon, and it’s a lot like a trading card game, only with actual marijuanas.  We all know that marijuanas kill most of the people who use them, and that’s what makes this game so difficult to talk about. The game works using the strain names on leafly.com.  If a player has a sample (called a nug) of the strain on the card, he can use the card.  The more ...

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Least Safe Thing About Teen Dating: Her Father

Least Safe Thing About Teen Dating: Her Father 4 votes / 5 Stars Teenagers date.  It’s a natural part of the process of growing up.  They also do all manner of things fathers don’t want to think about.  This fact has given rise to the DADD movement, among others.  DADD stands for Dads Against Daughters Dating.  This idea is generally limited to fathers of good looking daughters, but looks are a very subjective thing. DADD is not an organized movement, as opposed to the MADD movement, which has meetings and a national headquarters.  It’s more of just a shirt that dads can wear to announce that they feel their daughter is good looking enough to warrant a defensive posture in regards ...

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Oscar Surprise: Footballer Bryan Carrasco Nominated for Best Actor

Oscar Surprise: Footballer Bryan Carrasco Nominated for Best Actor 6 votes / 5 Stars HOLLYWOOD, Ca – The Academy Awards (AKA the Oscars) have long been the goal of actors the world over.  The award has historically only gone to screen actors, but with waning popularity of award shows, the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences (or the Academy, for short) has entertained ideas for bringing back the popularity of the event.  They’ve tried booking forces of nature like Neil Patrick Harris and Chris Rock as host, and invited huge names in music to perform at the ceremony.  They’ve even taken steps to reduce the time egotists have in front of the microphone after George Clooney used the stage to ...

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Spit-Talkers: Annoyance, or Public Health Menace?

Spit-Talkers: Annoyance, or Public Health Menace? 4 votes / 5 Stars Some people spit when they talk.  To those of us who don’t, it’s an annoyance, especially considering the number of times we need to make excuses to end conversations quickly or avoid conversation altogether.  Hiding behind the annoyance factor, is something far more sinister.  Spit, as it turns out, is really, really nasty. Human saliva is full of all manner of bacteria.  In fact, there are typically between 500 and 650 different species of bacteria in the average human mouth.  If one were to scrape all the plaque in the average mouth off the teeth, there would be in the neighborhood of 20 billion microbes in it.  ‘Billion’ is ...

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Phrenology Enjoys Resurgence in Popularity

Phrenology Enjoys Resurgence in Popularity 5 votes / 5 Stars Phrenology, which is defined as a pseudoscience primarily focused on measurements of the human skull, has long been debunked.  That fact hasn’t stopped a group of hard-core believers from reviving it and making a play for science text books.  Several people who describe themselves as ‘modern phrenologists’ are bringing the science back into the forefront of psychological debate.  They claim that the science was dismissed before it got a fair shake, and before modern equipment could bear it out as a real science. Two prominent Phrenologists, Bernard Hollander and Paul Bouts, had sons.  Their sons, ironically named Paul Hollander and Bernard Bouts, have decided to collect and compile the works of their fathers, combine them with ...

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Lego® Blocks Strewn About Battlefields a War Crime?

Lego® Blocks Strewn About Battlefields a War Crime? 6 votes / 5 Stars The world has seen far more than its fair share of war, and no period in history has been without bloodshed.  With the advent of agreements, conventions, and treaties on the laws of war, we’ve seen a far more humane set of rules emerge on how human beings are to properly kill each other.  Since the 1864 Geneva Convention and all the way up to the 2008 Convention on Cluster Munitions, the world has sought to eliminate the most horrible parts of armed conflict. There are rules about intentionally starving civilian populations, controlling the weather, dipping bullets in garlic and toxic substances, and even a whole convention on the ...

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Scientists Recommend Easing Back Into Work After Holidays

Scientists Recommend Easing Back Into Work After Holidays 5 votes / 5 Stars No one likes work.  Even those people who tell you they love what they do.  They hate work more than the rest of us, they’ve just deluded themselves into believing that they don’t.  Those people also like boy bands, have tattoos of cartoon characters, respond to penis enlargement emails, and probably still drink wine coolers.  People especially hate returning to work after a holiday break or a vacation.  Now scientists believe jumping back in after a break is harmful to your health.  Dr. Lucy Rogers, behavioral psychologist at the University of Washington Social and Behavioral institute weighed in on the subject. Work stress is like a spring.  It ...

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New Year’s Resolutions Unsafe

New Year’s Resolutions Unsafe 3 votes / 5 Stars As it turns out, making new year’s resolutions is a dangerous activity that leads many to a false sense of self worth.  It’s simply unsafe to be sure of oneself because it only tends to last through the second week of the new year, leading to depression and binge drinking.  This being the case, it’s safest to simply maintain the status quo and keep being lazy and indecisive. It’s a well known fact that gyms make the bulk of their money in December / January, and most gym injuries occur in the first week of January.  Joining a gym is a bad idea because weights are heavy and you obviously don’t ...

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