Home > Author Archives: Horus Focker (page 9)

Author Archives: Horus Focker

Horus is a staff writer here at IS, and a consummate researcher. He is also our resident safety coordinator, and an accomplished public speaker. He likes piña coladas, but thinks getting caught in the rain is a sure recipe for catching a cold. We think he may indulge in a little too much ganja, but he writes OK, so...

Easy Open Kraft Mac & Cheese Box Bad for Self Esteem, Leads to Suicides

Easy Open Kraft Mac & Cheese Box Bad for Self Esteem, Leads to Suicides 4 votes / 5 Stars Macaroni and cheese is a popular food item.  Most people prefer a homemade concoction of cheeses and pasta, but many companies make instant or simple versions of this dish for the do-it-yourselfer.  Kraft is one of those companies, and arguably the most popular.  Despite its utter lack of taste and absence of nutritional value, it is consumed by the ton on a daily basis, but does that convenience have a dark side? , suicide is among the leading causes of accidental death in most age categories.  Even though we don’t know how the CDC can say something done on purpose was ...

Read More »

Paying Attention During Sex: Avoiding Sexual Injuries

Paying Attention During Sex: Avoiding Sexual Injuries 4 votes / 5 Stars For whatever reason, hospitals are seeing a rise in sex related injuries.  From that weirdness we talked about earlier, to hip dislocations and contortion related injuries, it’s all getting worse.  While some of those in the medical profession attribute this rise to people’s comfort with a more adventurous sex life, we here at IS believe there is a simpler explanation.  Mindfulness… Mindfulness is a term that is all the rage right now in esoteric as well as psychological circles, but what does it mean?  If you boil it down, it means paying attention.  I wonder why they even bothered to change the name, really.  I mean, what was wrong ...

Read More »

The Sun: Why It’s Best Avoided

The Sun: Why It’s Best Avoided 4 votes / 5 Stars The sun, like most other aspects of the universe, is trying to kill you.  Far too many people know little to nothing about the sun, and its sinister motives.  Exposure to the sun can give you all kinds of maladies, from sunburn to skin cancer.  It can bake you like a potato, or fry you like an egg.  Given these facts, why do people go outside during the day? It may surprise you to know that the sun is actually a star.  Unlike most stars, it’s just very close.  Stars are gigantic nuclear reactors, and I think we can all agree that nuclear energy is bad.  With disasters like ...

Read More »

Kombucha Drinkers in the Workplace: Pretentious Douchebags?

Kombucha Drinkers in the Workplace: Pretentious Douchebags? 4 votes / 5 Stars Douchebaggery in the workplace is a dangerous condition.  It leads to resentment and altercations, sometimes physical.  There are myriad douchey things that one can do in an office environment.  Decoration of a cubicle with Tamagotchis, hanging Nickleback posters, talking loudly on the phone to friends about weed enjoyed over the weekend, repeatedly referring to acquaintances as ‘bro,’ discussing one’s workout routine.  These are all incredibly douchey, but perhaps nothing is worse than healthy people rubbing their healthiness in the faces of their co-workers who enjoy coffee and doughnuts. Healthy people, while often chipper, are normally obnoxious douchebags.  They tend to offer dietary advice no one asked for.  They ...

Read More »

Polyembolokoilamania and You: We Got Nothin’

Polyembolokoilamania and You: We Got Nothin’ 6 votes / 5 Stars Once in awhile we run across a behavior so unsafe that we can’t properly process what we’re seeing.  This one is perhaps the worst.  Firstly, we understand that this is a mental illness, and we’ve had experience in that realm (and we’re properly medicated, we swear).  Polyembolokoilamania, however, is a bird of a different color.  This is a behavior so unsafe that we probably need to ban it and incarcerate everyone practicing it for their own good. Polyembolokoilamania is a disease in which one inserts foreign objects in body orifices.  You heard that right.  People are inserting all manner of objects into any body orifice that catches their fancy. ...

Read More »

Legislation Should Always Have Safety In Mind

Legislation Should Always Have Safety In Mind 3 votes / 5 Stars Let’s face it.  Our legislators are generally unsafe people.  As such, they tend to pass unsafe legislation.  For instance, of the 30 bills recently before the 114th Congress, only eight of them even contain the word safety.  We here at IS feel that nearly every bill could stand to have more safety in it.  There is a bill under consideration titled: H.R.3192 – Homebuyers Assistance Act.  Don’t you think that part of the assistance these homebuyers could use is perhaps making their homes safer than they were? If we convince Congress that safety is important, they’ll take it seriously, and then it will be important.  Think about a society ...

Read More »

The Importance of Safety Mindset

The Importance of Safety Mindset 2 votes / 5 Stars Safety is of vital importance.  Unsafe behavior and thinking will eventually kill every last man, woman, and child in the United States.  It’s important now, more than ever that we protect people form their own minds, and their own bodies.  Modern equipment continuously seeks to kill us, and we need to be aware of it all the time.  Your car wants you dead, your bed wants you dead, your clothing wants you dead, and even your food wants you dead. It’s amazing that we all aren’t dead already, given the fact that we’re beset on all sides by murderous people, animals, equipment, and food.  The insurance industry has copious records ...

Read More »

How Do We Make Guns Safer?

How Do We Make Guns Safer? 5 votes / 4.2 Stars Guns are inherently unsafe. They kill nearly everyone who comes near them.  That is, of course, with the inexplicable exception of redneck, white, conservative, Republican, Christians. Despite the fact that many of these people are immune, we aren’t sure what causes their immunity. As scientists study the cause of this immunity, it’s important that we realize that the only way to truly be safe is to eliminate all guns.  While we work on eliminating them, we have more than a few common sense measures which can make them safer in the meantime. It’s not usually the guns which do the killing, it’s the bullets.  While we know that guns ...

Read More »

The Benefits of Cooking in DuPont™ Tyvek® Coveralls

The Benefits of Cooking in DuPont™ Tyvek® Coveralls 4 votes / 5 Stars Cooking is one of the most dangerous activities Americans participate in on a daily basis.  While, here at IS, we recommend that no one actually does it, we realize that it will take some time until machines can do it for us.  In the meantime, how can you, the consumer / citizen, protect yourself from harm while taking part in this extremely harmful activity? We have several suggestions. Avoid cooking with open flames.  Open flames are incredibly unsafe.  Fire, as many people have learned over their lifetime, is incredibly hot.  It can do all manner of horrible things, from removing wanted hair, to melting skin and clothing. ...

Read More »

Our 24-Hour Safety Intensive Course

Our 24-Hour Safety Intensive Course 2 votes / 5 Stars We, here at IS, intend to offer a course in Home Safety for individuals who are convinced that they aren’t living safely and wish to fix this situation. We will cover such topics as cooking, dressing, navigating staircases and flat surfaces, exercising, bathing, eating, and most importantly, breathing. This course is aimed at teaching people not only how to live safely, but how to anticipate unsafe conditions and even prevent them. Too often, we are unaware of the unsafe conditions we have grown accustomed to in our daily lives, and we at IS find this unacceptable. After this course, you’ll be a certified ‘safe thinker’ and will be capable of ...

Read More »

Powered by Dragonballsuper Youtube Download animeshow