A Day Without Women Becomes Revenge of the Patriarchy

DALLAS, Texas - In a bold move, women all over the nation used the advent of International Women's Day, the 8th of March, to...

President Trump Signs Executive Order Making Everything You Read Today Literally...

In a late night Oval Office session yesterday, President Trump signed an executive order making everything you read today literally true.  Spokespeople for the...

Syria Brings Down Russian Planes With Flocks of Trained Birds

DAMASCUS Syria - War surrounds, war engulfs, and war reigns through the entire nation of Syria. Greatly outmatched by the Giant bear that is...

Oscar Surprise: Footballer Bryan Carrasco Nominated for Best Actor

HOLLYWOOD, Ca - The Academy Awards (AKA the Oscars) have long been the goal of actors the world over.  The award has historically only gone...

Vegas Gives 3:1 – Tom Brady is Caught Cheating in this...

Rejoice! It is January again. A month full of snow, playoffs, and Tom Brady shenanigans. The King of asterisks will be at it again...

Hillary’s Most Damning Emails Recently Released.

WASHINGTON D.C. - The Federal Bureau of Investigations this morning released the most embarrassing emails yet retrieved from Hillary Clinton's private email servers. According...

Donald Trump Set to Trademark the Word ‘Great’

In another bold election cycle move, the ever opportunistic Donald Trump has petitioned to trademark the word "great."  The often overused adjective of choice...

Mall Elves Protest Unfair Wages, Working Conditions

Every year during the holiday season, malls across the country drag the holiday decorations out of the storage dungeon and proudly display them in...

Immediate Safety Interviews Carly Fiorina

Did you honestly think we were going to do that?  Seriously?  She's completely irrelevant, and quite frankly we're disappointed that you even clicked the...

WAR! Putin accuses The Ukraine of not respecting pronouns

MOSCOW, RUSSIA FEBRUARY, 2021      Russian President Vladimir Putin is no longer pulling any punches with his  border disputing, transphobic, racist neighbors in The...