NFL Set to Expand Sidelines to Accommodate Parole Officers
NEW YORK, New York - The National Football League has announced an unprecedented on-field expansion to accommodate the large number of parole supervisors who...
Truth in Politix Releases Little-Known Campaign Promises From Candidates
WASHINGTON D.C. - Truth in Politix, a nonpartisan political action group, has released their list of little-known campaign promises from both the Donald Trump...
CIA GO: Collect Them All
SILICON VALLEY, California - The recent scandals tormenting the CIA (Central Intelligence Agency) have given a much-deserved black eye to the once proud American Institution....
Local Union : Fires are dangerous. Call us when it’s out.
Palo Alto, California - The month-long clash between the citizens and unions in Palo Alto, California is finally over and it is clear the...
Therapists Recommend a Combination of Marijuana and Bob Ross for Anxiety
SEATTLE, Washington - Anxiety is a tremendous problem in the western world. It's more pronounced among intellectuals and intelligent people. The more intelligent a...
The Last Jedi Review: If You love Star Wars Stay Away
IN A GALAXY FAR, FAR AWAY - Oh where to begin? I may, or may not have spoilers here. Not really sure as this...
Energy Drinks Lead to Dressing Like a Douche
SCOTTSDALE, Arizona - Consumption of energy drinks is growing exponentially, especially among young men with a penchant for acting stupid, dressing stupidly, and doing...
Cops: We’re not Racist, Just Too Out-of-Shape to Chase You
Chicago, Ill - We have all grown accustomed to hearing the horror stories of young minority citizens being gunned down in the streets by...
HomophobiPhobes Ruining Homosexuality for Everyone
CHARLESTON, South Carolina - Violence against anyone is frowned upon in America and rightly so. Recently we have become aware of a new brand...
Syria Brings Down Russian Planes With Flocks of Trained Birds
DAMASCUS Syria - War surrounds, war engulfs, and war reigns through the entire nation of Syria. Greatly outmatched by the Giant bear that is...