Charleston Man Fired Due to Flatulence
CHARLESTON, West Virginia - A battle of prodigious magnitude is dawning at a diminutive regency office in the suburbs of Charleston West Virginia. The...
Ohio Man Celebrates 480 Months Heroin-Free
YOUNGSTOWN, Ohio - Perseverant, indefatigable, resolute. One man stands as a testament to the power of the soul over addiction and adds another slash...
The Real Reason Microsoft Killed the Tay AI Twitter-Bot
Recent headlines about how the Twitter-bot designed by Microsoft and dubbed 'Tay' had to be shut down are misleading at best. It's certainly problematic...
Hair color specific police reports make men unsafe.
There are many things that separate and make us different than everyone else. We have different races, genders, orientations, and many more specific traits...
Company Seeks to Challenge (to the Death) People Who Overuse ‘Literally’
SEATTLE, Washington - Perhaps the most often uttered, and completely idiotic, phrase in the United States is, "I'd literally kill for a cup of...
Vermin Supreme the Only Candidate not Full of Shit
The news is all Hillary this, Trump that, Bernie the other (also Cruz, but who cares). The worst thing about it is, every time...
Hole In Ozone Layer Seems to Follow Ted Cruz
OCALA, Florida - Just as the Ted Cruz campaign begins to gain momentum we are being informed of some breaking news that could shake...
Illinois State Legislature: Daylight Savings Time Should be 5 Hours Ahead
SPRINGFIELD, Illinois - The Illinois state House of Representatives today introduced legislation that would make Illinois the first state in the union to take...
Why Your Friends are Voting Trump
EVERYWHERE, America - We know you have asked yourself 1,000 times, 'Why are my friends voting for Donald Trump? Are they this stupid? Why...
Ohio Doctor: My Life Was Ruined by Billboard Company
AKRON, Ohio - Jose Blose Jr., an unfortunate name for an unfortunate man. The Akron, Ohio therapist has spent much of his life in...