ASHBURN, Virginia – Unless you have been stranded on a desert island without internet access for the last 24 hours you are likely aware that the CIA is in the proverbial dog house. They (CIA) have been implicated in the largest spying conspiracy in almost a week (see Obama Trump). Unfortunately, these new revelations go far beyond spying and find themselves knee-deep in scandals involving murder and assassinations.
One group in DC has taken notice and is especially appalled at the CIA’s apparent lack of understanding of copyright infringement.
The Clinton Foundation, which is well-known for <cough> “charity” work around the world, also has a seedier side wrought with accusations of intimidation and murder thought to be unparalleled until now. A spokesman close to The Clintons has provided us with a statement from Former Secretary Clinton,
It is not possible at this moment to explain how absolutely furious I am with the new CIA revelations. The entire profile I have spent 50 years creating has been destroyed in a single day simply because The CIA is too incompetent to provide adequate security for their internet servers. I am the heat in this town. My works have provided albums and albums of memes, Youtube videos dedicated to my ‘alleged” murders, and entire articles dedicated to my crimes, err uh my supposed crimes. The CIA will never be top dog in this town. Cash me ouside, how ‘bou dah!
As this story continues to develop into the irresistible force versus the immovable object, DC style, check back for updates. We will be sure to keep you abreast as new information presents itself.