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david_carradine_deadSCHENECTADY NY – Since the death of David Carradine due to auto-erotic asphyxiation, the practice has not only been on the radar of many Americans, it’s also been brought to a wider audience.  Exposing the general public to a practice that is unsafe by its nature is seldom a good idea, because there is so little information on how to do it safely.  That’s where we come in.

Bear in mind, we think no one should ever take part in activities like this, but we know that many people are too set in their dangerous ways to be swayed to the safe side of the argument.  If you insist on doing it, or having your partner choke you, at least be safe about it.

First, what is it.  It’s purposely decreasing oxygen to the brain during either an erotic encounter or auto-erotic (masturbatory) session.  Again, it’s bad practice altogether, but doing it safely is paramount.  Below are things to consider if you decide you just can’t be safe and normal.

  • Use a soft restraint that has an emergency release, or safety break-away

Many people use a plain old belt, and that’s generally how they’re found.  They lose consciousness strung up from the hangar rack in their closet.  Avoid this mistake at all costs.  It’s best to use any rope or line that can be tied into a slippery hitch, or that has a quick release pull like a nylon web belt with a pull tab.

  • Use a hanging rod that doesn’t support your whole weight before breaking away

A shower curtain rod is usually acceptable, as they tend to be held in place by pressure and friction rather than fixed supports or brackets.  It’s a dangerous practice to use fixed metal shelving or some type of scaffold, as they’re specifically designed not to collapse.  Things like painter’s ladders or collapsible shelving are safer.

  • Avoid slick floors or waxed surfaces in wool socks

No matter your intentions, a slick floor, or hard surface with slick socks will have you sliding all over the place like a cartoon character running from a ghost.  When you need to regain your footing, time is of the essence.  Those extra few seconds are what lies between you and an awkward Thanksgiving gathering where your family has to talk about your personal failure.

  • Avoid crossbar heights that don’t allow you to regain solid footing

Like the slick floors thing, if you plan poorly, it just looks like a suicide that also involves your pants falling down.  This conversation is even more awkward than the others because suicide is bad, but pantsless suicide is a family embarrassment.

  • choke-sexWhen using a partner, don’t rely on safe words

This should be a no-brainer, but when being choked, how easy is it to say anything?  If you rely on a safeword instead of a tap out or physical gesture, you’re setting yourself up for failure and setting your partner up for an awful conversation with police.  In fact, this has happened recently.  Remember, 10 years in jail, or gestures…

  • Know your limits

Know when you’re on the verge of losing consciousness.  To avoid tunnel vision is to avoid a weird obituary where they skirt around the cause of death, but everyone knows you were a freak.

  • Know how long it takes you to ‘finish’

If it takes you 45 minutes to get done, there are two things you should know.  First, you masturbate too much, and second, AEA is not for you.  If you decide to do this, you will die.

  • Have a really close friend, and plan to call them just after

We can’t overstate this one.  Not only should they be close enough to be willing to rearrange your body and make it look like a murder or suicide, they should also clear your browser history.  Obviously, if you’re into this nonsense, you’re also a frequent user of punish tube and probably 4chan.

We hope these tips help you, but again, we think there is something seriously wrong with you that even competent psychologists may not be able to iron out.

1 COMMENT

  1. This is so condescending and dehumanizing. Good effort you got the spirit but the way you speak puts others down. Its honestly made me cringe.

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