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Tag Archives: assault

Charleston Man Fired Due to Flatulence

Charleston Man Fired Due to Flatulence 4 votes / 5 Stars CHARLESTON, West Virginia – A battle of prodigious magnitude is dawning at a diminutive regency office in the suburbs of Charleston West Virginia. The struggle lies between a man, Jorge Borgious, his former employer, and the union that was supposed to be representing his interests, after being terminated due to repeated violations of (Kanahwa Counties’s ) all too strict flatulence policies. According to the lawsuit filed recently by Mr. Borgious he has a condition, Gerd (Gastroesophageal reflux disease), that by some accounts should protect him under the ADA (American’s with Disabilities Act). According to his attorney, Ayer Reeks Esq, laws were broken in the termination of Mr. Borgious. My ...

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Cartoon Violence on Our Streets

Cartoon Violence on Our Streets 8 votes / 5 Stars This cartoon violence has gotten so out of hand, we really don’t have any words for it.   +90

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Scientists Recommend Easing Back Into Work After Holidays

Scientists Recommend Easing Back Into Work After Holidays 5 votes / 5 Stars No one likes work.  Even those people who tell you they love what they do.  They hate work more than the rest of us, they’ve just deluded themselves into believing that they don’t.  Those people also like boy bands, have tattoos of cartoon characters, respond to penis enlargement emails, and probably still drink wine coolers.  People especially hate returning to work after a holiday break or a vacation.  Now scientists believe jumping back in after a break is harmful to your health.  Dr. Lucy Rogers, behavioral psychologist at the University of Washington Social and Behavioral institute weighed in on the subject. Work stress is like a spring.  It ...

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Please Don’t Make Her Assume Her Ultimate Form

Please Don’t Make Her Assume Her Ultimate Form 3 votes / 5 Stars     +30

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Are Birds Becoming Sentient? They’re Kind of Evil, Though…

Are Birds Becoming Sentient? They’re Kind of Evil, Though… 2 votes / 5 Stars +20

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Curiosity Was Framed; Lizards Did It

Curiosity Was Framed; Lizards Did It 3 votes / 5 Stars   +30

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Racist Police Steal AK-47’s, Exposives From Refugees

Racist Police Steal AK-47’s, Exposives From Refugees 6 votes / 4.33 Stars DALLAS, Texas – Police in Dallas, Texas are coming under fire for the arrests of eight Syrian refugees on weapons, explosives, and grand theft auto charges after hundreds of citizens jump the gun in the racist south. It all began yesterday afternoon as Police responded to a report of a truck being stolen from a local electrician during his lunch break. Police located the vehicle speeding, going left of center, and creating a disturbance on Main St. According to the responding officers several men in the back of the truck were waiving high powered rifles and yelling at citizens on the street. The stolen vehicle was witnessed going left ...

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Flatulence in Elevators and Carpool Lanes: Assault?

Flatulence in Elevators and Carpool Lanes: Assault? 3 votes / 5 Stars Meet Gus Anderson. By all accounts a good man. A father, brother, son, and a pillar of his community.  Sadly Gus was fatality beaten last Friday by coworkers while on their way to a small distillery just outside of Detroit. This is just one more example of the brutality we are finding in America’s car pool lanes. What was once thought of as America’s best way to efficiently get to work has turned into one of her most dangerous. According to American Crime Statistics more than 200 people are assaulted every year in car pool lanes over arguments about work, what radio station should be listened to, smoking ...

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