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Tag Archives: politics

88 Generals Endorse Trump, Hillary Incredulous

88 Generals Endorse Trump, Hillary Incredulous 4 votes / 4 Stars WASHINGTON, D.C.- The Trump campaign on Tuesday released a list of 88 current and former generals and admirals that have given Mr. Trump their endorsement for president. This was in response to the Clinton campaign releasing lists of prominent Republicans that had endorsed the former Secretary of State. The game is afoot with endorsements dropping on a daily basis as elites offer their names and clout in an attempt to rebuild relevance in the political Superbowl season. Both campaigns touted those who endorsed them while downplaying those who endorsed their opponent. “I am very proud to have the generals”, said Donald Trump (Republican nominee). “The generals have been so ...

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Ted Cruz : How I Will Win the Gays? Calendars…

Ted Cruz : How I Will Win the Gays? Calendars… 3 votes / 5 Stars DALLAS, Texas – Senator and Presidential hopeful Ted Cruz is trying to fill every gap he can with voters, even if it means appealing to blocks he would have avoided like the plague before.  With the Trump Train in top gear and shaking off every attack, the Cruz team needs to pull out all the stops.  They’re making an end run around all the normal holes and sneaking backstreet to gain voters they know would never swing Trump’s way. Can he do a full reach-around and straighten out the climbing Trump curve, Or will he flop into the dark abyss? Some say he may have peaked ...

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Republican Leadership Tried Reverse Psychology to Derail Trump Train

Republican Leadership Tried Reverse Psychology to Derail Trump Train 4 votes / 5 Stars SOUTH PARK, Colorado – Since November of 2015 the Republican establishment has been at war with Donald Trump. Every effort possible has been made to slow down the enthusiasm that his supporters hold and pass to others as quickly as a common contagious cold. With every waking day, it becomes more and more obvious that the more the establishment does to derail the Trump machine the more supporters the machine gains. That is until now… In a meeting of top Republican donors and politicians, a strange source of inspiration and enlightenment was unveiled. An episode of Comedy Central’s South Park featuring “Chinpokomon” was played for the ...

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Facebook to Allow Customers to Block Political Nonsense

Facebook to Allow Customers to Block Political Nonsense 7 votes / 5 Stars BOSTON, Mass – According to inside reports Facebook is set to release an update to their platform that will allow users to block political speech from entering their personal feeds. This new revolutionary software named Politoff, will gather keywords that are usually used in political posts and block them from users who would rather not be bothered by their friend’s enthusiasm toward their political parties and causes. We all have friends who we enjoy on our Facebook friends list that post political garbage way too much. Even when no  one likes or comments on their posts they cannot fight the urge to shower us with their nonsensical ...

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Sewer Rats in Los Angeles Becoming Sentient

Sewer Rats in Los Angeles Becoming Sentient 4 votes / 5 Stars LOS ANGELES, California – Recent findings by scientists studying the rat problem in Los Angeles are frightening, as well as exciting.  Sewer rats have started to exhibit signs of organized behavior and advanced communication.  The rats have surprised those studying them by creating governmental systems, and identifying enemies.  As it turns out, the rats have elected leaders and developed rudimentary political systems.  It seems that the factions are similar to human political parties, and this has caused some scientists to speculate that the roots of democracy are in mammalian DNA. Some rats favor limited government and others favor strong and bulky government, but both sides seem to hate ...

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