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Tag Archives: NFL

The Colin Kaepernick you thought you knew.

The Colin Kaepernick you thought you knew. 2 votes / 5 Stars SAN FRANCISCO, California – like it or not Colin Kaepernick, the controversial backup quarterback of the San Francisco 49ers, has become a household name for sitting during the national anthem before his team’s games. Many believe him to be a disrespectful twat for these actions but if you dig below the surface you find that he is simply an emotional guy with thoughtful intentions. Those who know him best tell a story of the man, a big heart, and the effects of music on his conscience. I was riding in the car with him one day and Tommy Tutones 867-5309 came on the radio. He (Kaepernick) immediately veered ...

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Peyton Manning Retires: End of an Amazing Love Story

Peyton Manning Retires: End of an Amazing Love Story 3 votes / 5 Stars Peyton Manning announces his retirement thus ending one of the great love stories in professional sports history. Only Bonnie Tyler can put into words what these two are feeling. Also, maybe thousands of 40 somethings that have sadly watched their final Manning-Brady classic. +260

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Shark Week Surpasses Superbowl Week for Highest Domestic Violence

Shark Week Surpasses Superbowl Week for Highest Domestic Violence 6 votes / 5 Stars CHICAGO, Ill – Superbowl week has long been known as the week during the year that boasts the most reported domestic violence cases nationwide. For several decades the NFL has been unsurpassed in their ability to juice the testosterone out of their die-hard fans. 2015 was dramatically different. Shark Week has become, not only competition for the NFL, but according to several national crime statistics, has surpassed the NFL in reported cases of Domestic violence. These stats came as a big surprise to everyone, that is, except maybe the NFL and Discovery Channel.  We reached out the the NFL offices for comment. We here at the NFL try ...

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Vegas Gives 3:1 – Tom Brady is Caught Cheating in 2016 Playoffs.

Vegas Gives 3:1 – Tom Brady is Caught Cheating in 2016 Playoffs. 8 votes / 5 Stars Rejoice! It is January again. A month full of snow, playoffs, and Tom Brady shenanigans. The King of asterisks will be at it again this year and Vegas is paying attention. Money, as always, is on the line and Vegas needs to recapture some of their revenue on Patriots games as big betters are afraid to lay down money where cheating is involved. Our biggest betters have been avoiding New England Patriots games because of the constant cheating that they are accused of committing. Therefore we have decided to make the cheating a way for our customers to bet and make money. – ...

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NFL Set to Expand Sidelines to Accommodate Parole Officers

NFL Set to Expand Sidelines to Accommodate Parole Officers 4 votes / 5 Stars NEW YORK, New York –  The National Football League has announced an unprecedented on field expansion to accommodate the large number of parole supervisors who are required to attend games with their parolees. In a unanimous vote the owners have agreed to all previsions requested by the league to monitor the activities of its players. It costs me several thousand dollars per game to put parole officers in the stands to watch their parolees on the field. – Jerry Jones – owner, Dallas Cowboys. Coaches and players are always expected to remain between the 30 yard line markers. The parole officers will get a special area ...

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Tom Brady Caught Cheating During Family Game Night.

Tom Brady Caught Cheating During Family Game Night. 6 votes / 5 Stars QUINCY, Mass –  Times just continue to get more difficult for Tom Brady. Arguably the greatest quarterback in the history of the NFL finds himself embroiled in scandles that purport to show he and his New England Patriot teammates knowingly and willfully cheated their way to several SuperBowl championships. Tom has continually pledged his innocence on the field of battle but new accusations look to take the bloom off of the rose. It was just a night like any other. My parents came for dinner and we decided to get out Scrabble to loosen the mood a little bit. My parents have always been skeptical of Tom ...

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NFL Hands Out Harsh Penalties on Domestic Violence

NFL Hands Out Harsh Penalties on Domestic Violence 4 votes / 5 Stars NEW YORK, New york – The National Football league has long been the champion of violence and conquest on the field of battle. Rules have been created to curb the blood thirst that causes 300 pound monsters to crash into each other at top speed, and make it a game that appeals to all members of the American family. Recently the NFL has found itself embroiled in something much different. Violence off the field is becoming a concern that could rock the NFL to its core and severely damage all of the marketing work it has done to increase viewership amongst women. NFL commissioner Roger Goodell is firing ...

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