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Tag Archives: crime

Clown Activists Contemplating Lawsuit for Rights Violations

Clown Activists Contemplating Lawsuit for Rights Violations 4 votes / 5 Stars WASHINGTON D.C.- Clown lives matter? Today thousands of clowns from across the nation have descended on the Capital to protest, what they believe, are ‘silly’ laws being passed in every corner of America which intend to prevent people from dressing up as clowns. The laws come after hundreds of reports across the nation of clowns bothering and harassing children. It is such a non jovial unfairness to take away Boingo’s livelihood. If I can’t dress as a clown I will be very sad (aggressively rubs eyes). I know my rights and I can’t be told how to dress. I self-identify as a clown so you can’t stop me ...

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Clown sightings on the rise. Wookies to the rescue?

Clown sightings on the rise. Wookies to the rescue? 5 votes / 5 Stars PITTSBURGH, Pennsylvania – If you have been paying attention to the news at all in the last couple of weeks I am sure you have heard stories from across the nation of grown men, dressed as clowns, bothering and threatening children. We are not sure how this became an epidemic but this activity has sparked outrage and fear from Maine to California. Police agencies, already taxed by crime and terror, lack the additional resources needed to properly investigate each new case of clown tomfoolery. In comes Archie Alflin and his team of upstart clown investigators. “Our kids are in danger and It’s time for us to ...

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Hair color specific police reports make men unsafe.

Hair color specific police reports make men unsafe. 6 votes / 5 Stars There are many things that separate and make us different than everyone else. We have different races, genders, orientations, and many more specific traits that help us stand out in a crowd. What if those traits were used against us for harm? What if you were singled out based entirely on those differences? This happens every day in communities throughout the United States, and we must all be aware of the societal implications. Take Red Hanson, for instance. He lives in the small town of Icky Creek, Georgia which has a population of only 455 people.  He is the only person living in, or around town with ...

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Hillary’s Most Damning Emails Recently Released.

Hillary’s Most Damning Emails Recently Released. 5 votes / 5 Stars WASHINGTON D.C. – The Federal Bureau of Investigations this morning released the most embarrassing emails yet retrieved from Hillary Clinton’s private email servers. According to reports from inside the F.B.I’s Electronic Communications Division, these emails show a cooperation between Ms. Clinton acting as Secretary of State and Prince Bundabih Hadheez from the small country of Bahmudi. According to these reports Prince Hadheez had sent various emails to the Secretary of State’s private email account seeking assistance with cashing checks from the Central bank of Bahmudi. According to the emails Prince Hadheez was unable to withdraw his money due to issues with his bank. The only way to retrieve his ...

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