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Tag Archives: election

Daughter of Eric Garner, Erica Garner : Dont “Use” My Father.

Daughter of Eric Garner, Erica Garner : Dont “Use” My Father.11 votes / 5 Stars The Clinton campaign has bitten off more than it can chew in the newest released emails from Wikileaks. Erica Garner, the daughter of Eric Garner, is not pleased to find that the Clinton campaign discussed ways to “use” her father (and who could blame her) for political gain. Wikileaks has done a tremendous job showing the rotten underbelly of politics in general and the Clinton campaign specifically. Below are the emails in question and the response from Ms. Garner. Re: HRC Op-Ed on Gun Violence From:[email protected] To:[email protected] Date: 2016-03-17 21:28 Subject: Re: HRC Op-Ed on Gun Violence That's a pretty good point. On Mar 17, ...

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Clinton supporter laments: Nobody wants to steal my yard sign

Clinton supporter laments: Nobody wants to steal my yard sign19 votes / 5 Stars HACKENSACK, New Jersey – Bill Prader has been a democrat his entire life. He has gleefully cast votes for Carter, Mondale, Dukakis, Clinton, Gore, Kerry, Obama, and soon Hillary Clinton. This election, however, has been a little bit different for him as he is noticing changes in the electorate around him. Almost every home on my block has put out yard signs for Trump-Pence. These signs get stolen or damaged every night. I am the only guy in the neighborhood with a Clinton-Kaine sign and nobody pays attention. Did I do something wrong? The small upper-class Hackensack neighborhood has seen its share of vandalism and theft ...

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Breaking down the 2016 election in simple terms

Breaking down the 2016 election in simple terms4 votes / 5 Stars FRESNO, California – Many people throughout The United States are still struggling with their decision as to who they intend to vote for in the 2016 election. Now I know that Gary Johnson fans (whom I respect immensely), and Jill Stein fans (whom I also have a lot of respect for) want to be heard from, but in my mind (right or wrong) neither has a legitimate chance at 270 electoral votes.  So we are left with 2 candidates who have a legitimate shot at winning. We’ve broken the election down between the two major candidates as a choice not made until the voter is inside the voting ...

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Isis leadership : We will leave America if Trump elected.

Isis leadership : We will leave America if Trump elected.5 votes / 5 Stars DETROIT, Michigan – Isis operatives have added their names to the long list of people threatening to leave America if Donald Trump is elected. “We will not live in a country where we are in constant fear of being subjugated to hateful actions and speech”, said Ahmed Abdul Ali Jabra Johnson Smith (General of Isis Detroit). “We hope Americans are smart enough to elect Hillary Clinton so we can continue to recruit and import terrorists, I mean peace lovers, who will help us spread our brand of love to all Americans. God is great.” If Donald Trump is elected Isis would join a long list of individuals ...

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88 Generals Endorse Trump, Hillary Incredulous

88 Generals Endorse Trump, Hillary Incredulous4 votes / 4 Stars WASHINGTON, D.C.- The Trump campaign on Tuesday released a list of 88 current and former generals and admirals that have given Mr. Trump their endorsement for president. This was in response to the Clinton campaign releasing lists of prominent Republicans that had endorsed the former Secretary of State. The game is afoot with endorsements dropping on a daily basis as elites offer their names and clout in an attempt to rebuild relevance in the political Superbowl season. Both campaigns touted those who endorsed them while downplaying those who endorsed their opponent. “I am very proud to have the generals”, said Donald Trump (Republican nominee). “The generals have been so great. ...

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Poll : 96% of Aborted Babies Plan to Vote for Hillary

Poll : 96% of Aborted Babies Plan to Vote for Hillary4 votes / 5 Stars ATLANTA, Georgia – A recent 2016 Presidential poll conducted by CNN points to a tremendous advantage for Former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton among former aborted babies nationwide. The poll, conducted over a period of three days shows Ms. Clinton with a commanding 96% lead while Donald Trump holds 2% and 2% remain undecided. This is a major blow to Republicans everywhere and shows an odd inability among aborted babies to understand politics and party affiliation. We recently caught up with Tim Stearling (CNN polls coordinator) to ask why the poll was done and how the results were so skewed. ” We wanted to point out ...

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Warning : Millennials torn on who to support and eventually not vote for

Warning : Millennials torn on who to support and eventually not vote for5 votes / 5 Stars SEATTLE, Washington – The 2016 presidential race has been one of the most contentious and tumultuous periods in American election history. This is an especially confusing time for millennials, who could make a difference if they actually voted. “I supported and didn’t vote for Bernie Sanders in the primary”, said Kaitlyn Andrews. “Now that it looks like he won’t win I suppose I will have to chose to support and not vote for either Trump or Clinton. I will have to make my decision soon as there are so many social media accounts to update.” Kaitlyn is not alone. According to the SPAM ...

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Bernie Sanders to Use Nickname “Mango” in an Effort to Win the Phish Vote

Bernie Sanders to Use Nickname “Mango” in an Effort to Win the Phish Vote6 votes / 5 Stars BURLINGTON, Vermont -“Lifting up his head he feels the sunlight in his eyes.” Bernie Sanders, embroiled in a long tough fight with former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton for the democratic nomination for President,  has begun a “Phishing for votes” expedition in his home state of Vermont. I am calling on all of our Phisheads nationwide to help me secure the Democratic nomination for President of the United States. I understand you and you understand me. Let’s ramble while Slop Scraper sighs! I am not dangling grape apple pies here. Call me Mango. The Clinton campaign immediately sprang into action to attempt ...

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Why Your Friends are Voting Trump

Why Your Friends are Voting Trump7 votes / 3.9 Stars EVERYWHERE, America – We know you have asked yourself 1,000 times, ‘Why are my friends voting for Donald Trump? Are they this stupid? Why are they not as informed as I am? Why can’t they see through this?’ There are simple answers to these questions but you need to be able to open your mind and forgo your lifelong biases to understand. The main reason people support Donald Trump for president is YOU. You read that correctly. you are the problem. The silent majority of America has spent the last 15 years reading your pro-Republican pro-Democrat anti-Republican anti-Democrat nonsense on social media and silently scrolled along. We roll our eyes at ...

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List of People Fleeing the Country if Trump Elected

List of People Fleeing the Country if Trump Elected4 votes / 5 Stars A tremendous number of people have publicly stated their desire to flee the country if Donald Trump is elected. Their reasons are many and varied, but the list is growing. Below is a partial and ongoing list of celebrities (because, who cares about the little guy) who have made it known that Trump is not their guy. Reverend Al Sharpton – “If Donald Trump is the nominee, I’m open to support anyone [else], while I’m also reserving my ticket to get out of here if he wins, only because he’d probably have me deported anyway…” CEO Barry Diller – He plans to move or join the resistance.  We’re ...

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