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Kim Jung Un Wins ‘North Korea Idol’ for Record 7th Straight Season

Kim Jung Un Wins ‘North Korea Idol’ for Record 7th Straight Season7 votes / 5 Stars PYONGYANG, North Korea – Kim Jung Un, The Supreme leader of North Korea took one closer step toward immortality last night by winning his seventh straight North Korean Idol competition. Once again he (Un) was the unanimous winner gaining 100% of support from the North Korean voting public. I would like to take a moment to thank me for giving myself the talent it takes to be the worlds greatest singer. I am so glad the people of North Korea were able to hear my Godly voice. What a thrill it must be for them. – Un Supreme Leader Un used a variety of ...

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Transgender Loophole: US Women’s Olympic Team Set to Dominate Games

Transgender Loophole: US Women’s Olympic Team Set to Dominate Games2 votes / 5 Stars The plan may not have been obvious before but it is now.  The identity politics game of the American social justice movement has been a clever ruse to clean up at the 2018 PyeongChang games and the 2020 Tokyo games.  While it took us a while to realize the plan, it’s becoming crystal clear as time progresses.  With the announcement of Laurel Hubbard, a transgender “woman” from Kiwi, New Zealand, and her ability to dominate the sport of competitive weightlifting, the stage is set.  Her genetically female opponents have fully accepted the trans woman despite not liking it.  As the US searches for transitioning athletes in the high-property-value, fun ...

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Trump Administration Actually Keeps Political Promises, Politicians Stumped

Trump Administration Actually Keeps Political Promises, Politicians Stumped2 votes / 5 Stars How can you tell a politician is lying?  His lips are moving.  Everyone knows the joke.  What happens when a politician keeps his campaign promises?  Until now, no one ever knew.  We find ourselves in wildly uncharted territory and other politicians can’t seem to make heads or tails of it. The best analogy for what’s happening is found in the 1990 film Crazy People.  Dudley Moore’s character, Emory Leeson, is an ad writer who tires of lying to the people and begins to simply write his ads to tell the truth.  His agency encourages him to seek help and he is institutionalized.  Someone at the agency accidentally runs all of his ads ...

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Madonna Owes Me A BJ – Claims Clinton Voter

Madonna Owes Me A BJ – Claims Clinton Voter5 votes / 5 Stars   A man, who wishes to remain anonymous until events unfurl, has written a letter to Madonna thanking her for her offer of a blowjob in exchange for casting his vote for Hillary Clinton in the 2016 Presidential election.  In an effort to not only meet but gain some intimacy with his teenage crush, he leaped at the offer.   On Tuesday, 18 October 2016, while appearing, unplanned, to introduce Comedian Amy Schumer to her audience in New York, the pop star made the following statement. If you vote for Hillary Clinton, I will give you a blow job, Ok? I’m really good. I’m not a douche and ...

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Former President Obama sneaks into whitehouse, forgot his ‘stash’

Former President Obama sneaks into whitehouse, forgot his ‘stash’3 votes / 5 Stars WASHINGTON D.C. – in a scene right out of a James Bond meets Cheech and Chong spoof, former President Barack Obama was briefly taken into custody Saturday for trying to reclaim the ‘Presidential stash.’  According to reports, the former President used the tunnel system under the White House to gain entrance into the west wing. He then entered the Presidential bedroom, pulled up the mattress, and removed an estimated 2 pounds of Blue Dream.   We knew he was here. We just really dont have protocols for former presidents, especially the day after they leave office. – anonymous White House official Capital police had no choice but ...

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Women March on Washington DC, Men March for a Sammich

Women March on Washington DC, Men March for a Sammich4 votes / 5 Stars LOS ANGELES, CA – Women have taken to the streets in an effort to protest the election of Donald Trump on the day after his inauguration. The reasons were outlined in a Youtube video and a well-organized campaign to entice women and men who support their cause to get out and march. The verbiage on the website is moving including such statements as, “In the spirit of democracy and honoring the champions of human rights, dignity, and justice who have come before us, we join in diversity to show our presence in numbers too great to ignore.” Who could take issue?  These days, it’s not hard ...

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The Mans Guide To Acceptable Christmas Movie Viewing

The Mans Guide To Acceptable Christmas Movie Viewing3 votes / 5 Stars It’s sometimes difficult for men to know what can and cannot be watched during the holiday season while still maintaining a claim on manhood.  We’ve narrowed down our recommendations but as always we welcome feedback.  Below are the approved movies, the unapproved movies, and the ones that are approved under special circumstances.  NOT APPROVED: Just don’t watch them…  ever… White Christmas – There are like, 5 minutes of Christmas in this whole stinking movie and that time is compromised by Bing Crosby and Danny Kay tap dancing. There are no circumstances that men should ever voluntarily view this movie, and furthermore, a girl who loves you would never ...

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Daughter of Eric Garner, Erica Garner : Dont “Use” My Father.

Daughter of Eric Garner, Erica Garner : Dont “Use” My Father.11 votes / 5 Stars The Clinton campaign has bitten off more than it can chew in the newest released emails from Wikileaks. Erica Garner, the daughter of Eric Garner, is not pleased to find that the Clinton campaign discussed ways to “use” her father (and who could blame her) for political gain. Wikileaks has done a tremendous job showing the rotten underbelly of politics in general and the Clinton campaign specifically. Below are the emails in question and the response from Ms. Garner. Re: HRC Op-Ed on Gun Violence From:[email protected] To:[email protected] Date: 2016-03-17 21:28 Subject: Re: HRC Op-Ed on Gun Violence That's a pretty good point. On Mar 17, ...

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Clinton supporter laments: Nobody wants to steal my yard sign

Clinton supporter laments: Nobody wants to steal my yard sign19 votes / 5 Stars HACKENSACK, New Jersey – Bill Prader has been a democrat his entire life. He has gleefully cast votes for Carter, Mondale, Dukakis, Clinton, Gore, Kerry, Obama, and soon Hillary Clinton. This election, however, has been a little bit different for him as he is noticing changes in the electorate around him. Almost every home on my block has put out yard signs for Trump-Pence. These signs get stolen or damaged every night. I am the only guy in the neighborhood with a Clinton-Kaine sign and nobody pays attention. Did I do something wrong? The small upper-class Hackensack neighborhood has seen its share of vandalism and theft ...

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Ghost of Rob Reiner – Move my body to Canada if Trump Elected. Lemmy not amused.

Ghost of Rob Reiner – Move my body to Canada if Trump Elected. Lemmy not amused.29 votes / 5 Stars SAN FRANCISCO, California – Election 2016 has turned into one of the most contentious periods in American history. Volatile operatives from the left and the right are behaving less like a voting populace and more like warring tribal factions bent on destruction. The closer we get to election day the more we are nagged by Hollywood elites purposing an exodus from the United States if they don’t get their way. The list continues to grow and is a who’s who of obnoxious attention craving nitwits such as Whoopi Goldberg, Miley Cyrus, and Cher. Now we are learning that the list ...

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