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Tag Archives: regulation

Hair color specific police reports make men unsafe.

Hair color specific police reports make men unsafe. 6 votes / 5 Stars There are many things that separate and make us different than everyone else. We have different races, genders, orientations, and many more specific traits that help us stand out in a crowd. What if those traits were used against us for harm? What if you were singled out based entirely on those differences? This happens every day in communities throughout the United States, and we must all be aware of the societal implications. Take Red Hanson, for instance. He lives in the small town of Icky Creek, Georgia which has a population of only 455 people.  He is the only person living in, or around town with ...

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Feds Mandate: Product Labels Require Person to Read Warnings To You

Feds Mandate: Product Labels Require Person to Read Warnings To You 3 votes / 5 Stars In a rare and stunning congressional victory for safety, congress has passed a safety law which mandates not only that all products sport larger and more thorough warning labels, but that each product come with an actual person to read those warning labels to the purchaser.  We here at IS view this legislation as a win, because now no one can be caught off guard by difficult to understand warnings and safety information. As a provision of the labeling requirements, warning labels must take up a minimum of 20% of the surface area of the packaging.  This number was chosen because it represents one whole side of ...

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NFL Set to Expand Sidelines to Accommodate Parole Officers

NFL Set to Expand Sidelines to Accommodate Parole Officers 4 votes / 5 Stars NEW YORK, New York –  The National Football League has announced an unprecedented on field expansion to accommodate the large number of parole supervisors who are required to attend games with their parolees. In a unanimous vote the owners have agreed to all previsions requested by the league to monitor the activities of its players. It costs me several thousand dollars per game to put parole officers in the stands to watch their parolees on the field. – Jerry Jones – owner, Dallas Cowboys. Coaches and players are always expected to remain between the 30 yard line markers. The parole officers will get a special area ...

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Ms. ISIS Beauty Pageant Ends in Controversy

Ms. ISIS Beauty Pageant Ends in Controversy 5 votes / 5 Stars DAMASCUS Syria – The first ever Ms. Isis beauty pageant was hailed as the biggest event in Syria in decades and lived up to the hype. Hundreds of homes across the middle east tuned in to see their favorite beauty queens strut and pose in a competition for the ages. The lucky winner was set to receive the coveted golden burqa which can be worn triumphantly in any social situation. Little did anyone know the night would end in controversy and rage as a wardrobe malfunction sent the entire Muslim world into a rage. The issue took place during the stone throwing competition. The front runner, Shakina Iskhden, had ...

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Red lights for anti-gun solidarity

Red lights for anti-gun solidarity 177 votes / 2.06 Stars A new trend is sweeping the nation. It’s called “red lighting”. Activists are changing their normal white porch light bulbs with special red bulbs letting the world know This is a gun free home. According to Jane Seymore who is the director of operations for the Department of Protecting Everyone (DOPE) we will soon see millions of homes adorned with red bulbs. It is clear to me that everyone is lookimg for a safer enviroment to raise their children. A gun free safe home is everything America is supposed to be. – Seymore So far many of America’s largest retailers have been selling out of the red bulbs quickly. “We ...

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Angry Thoughts Contribute to Global Warming

Angry Thoughts Contribute to Global Warming 6 votes / 4.83 Stars Have you ever been so mad that your body heats up, your face turns red, and you start to shout? We have all been there and acted out as if there were no consequences. Oh, how wrong we all were as new studies from the prestigious Wellington Institute of Climate Change and Survival have suggested. In research conducted from June of 2013 through December 2014 Dr. Par T. Shill has shown that our angry outbursts not only endanger the lives of those around us but also all of humanity. Says Dr. Shill, “When our bodies heat up we raise our own temperature on average 10°C. Even worse our own ...

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Our 24-Hour Safety Intensive Course

Our 24-Hour Safety Intensive Course 2 votes / 5 Stars We, here at IS, intend to offer a course in Home Safety for individuals who are convinced that they aren’t living safely and wish to fix this situation. We will cover such topics as cooking, dressing, navigating staircases and flat surfaces, exercising, bathing, eating, and most importantly, breathing. This course is aimed at teaching people not only how to live safely, but how to anticipate unsafe conditions and even prevent them. Too often, we are unaware of the unsafe conditions we have grown accustomed to in our daily lives, and we at IS find this unacceptable. After this course, you’ll be a certified ‘safe thinker’ and will be capable of ...

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