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Tag Archives: guns

Bibles, Qurans, and AR-15s, Oh My! Part One

Bibles, Qurans, and AR-15s, Oh My! Part One4 votes / 5 Stars ISLA SORNA – Life is inherently full of dangerous things that strive to hurt and kill us. We have been confronted lately by, according to main street media, the three biggest culprits of disaster and mayhem working with, and against each other. These three inanimate doom  initiators are The Christian Bible, The Islamic Quran, and the AR-15 Rifle (which some claim is an assault rifle but that is another article). I am sure most of you have asked yourself, like me, which is the most dangerous of the three? I sought out to get an answer and the results of the search were mind blowing. I paid a ...

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Mayor Emanuel to Announce ‘Guns for Jordans’ Initiative

Mayor Emanuel to Announce ‘Guns for Jordans’ Initiative4 votes / 5 Stars CHICAGO, Illinois- Mayor Rahm Emanuel has scheduled a major press conference for next week to introduce the newest and grandest idea to get guns off of the streets of Chicago. His “Guns For Jordans” campaign is a bold and audacious move to get us one step closer to a gun free Chicago, and eventually Illinois. We’ve had a hard time getting guns from gang-bangers. They like the additional protection that guns bring.  I hear the only thing they like more is Jordans.  I have struck a deal with Nike that will get thousands of guns off of the streets. – Mayor Emanuel Many citizens of Chicago are upset ...

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Trump Supporter Starts Business Catering to Sanders Supporters

Trump Supporter Starts Business Catering to Sanders Supporters6 votes / 5 Stars EAST HARTFORD, Conn – A man in Connecticut has started a business that caters to the dejected and depressed supporters of Bernie Sanders.  These former BernBots turned BernOuts are fed up.  After his disappointing loss to Clinton in Maryland, and having been removed from ballots in PA, many of his supporters are simply giving up.  Not on the campaign, not on the process, but on life.  We don’t condone suicide and think these people are clearly overreacting to an obvious fix by the Democratic party leadership, but that doesn’t stop them from taking rash action. Connecticut resident, gun owner, and entrepreneur, Eric Carson, has decided to strike while the ...

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Mega-Corporations Biggest Threat: Angry, Terminally-Ill Customers

Mega-Corporations Biggest Threat: Angry, Terminally-Ill Customers3 votes / 5 Stars We’ve all seen it.  The anger in a man’s eyes when he’s at the end of his rope emotionally and financially.  He’s seriously debating going ape-shit and destroying something beautiful or important.  We also know that our politicians are in league with mega-corporations at our expense.  So what happens when you get the first guy pissed off at the second guy (guy because corporations are ‘people’ and supposedly have rights)?  You get a perfect storm of crazy. Let’s consider the completely fabricated case of Joe.   Joe has cancer, and it’s the bad kind.  The kind that has no cure.  Joe tries to get help but his insurance agency denies ...

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How Not to Avoid Boredom

How Not to Avoid Boredom3 votes / 5 Stars   What not to do when you hear the words, “bullet proof.” +70

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ISIS Comedian: Infidels Just Don’t Get Me.

ISIS Comedian: Infidels Just Don’t Get Me.6 votes / 5 Stars Meet Alwaki Answar Mahammad. By all accounts he is just your average Libyan citizen. When you dig a little below the surface you find a man of many talents. For the last two years he has been a ranking member of the Isis army in Libya, a father of three, and as of March of this year a comedian.  He calls himself a ‘hilarrorist.’ Infidels just don’t get my humor. I tell a couple jokes and their heads fall off (rimshot). I mean really, why are these infidels taking everything so seriously. It’s not like the bomb vest I’m wearing is real. I yell Allahu Akbar while making my ...

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Least Safe Thing About Teen Dating: Her Father

Least Safe Thing About Teen Dating: Her Father4 votes / 5 Stars Teenagers date.  It’s a natural part of the process of growing up.  They also do all manner of things fathers don’t want to think about.  This fact has given rise to the DADD movement, among others.  DADD stands for Dads Against Daughters Dating.  This idea is generally limited to fathers of good looking daughters, but looks are a very subjective thing. DADD is not an organized movement, as opposed to the MADD movement, which has meetings and a national headquarters.  It’s more of just a shirt that dads can wear to announce that they feel their daughter is good looking enough to warrant a defensive posture in regards to ...

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Lego® Blocks Strewn About Battlefields a War Crime?

Lego® Blocks Strewn About Battlefields a War Crime?6 votes / 5 Stars The world has seen far more than its fair share of war, and no period in history has been without bloodshed.  With the advent of agreements, conventions, and treaties on the laws of war, we’ve seen a far more humane set of rules emerge on how human beings are to properly kill each other.  Since the 1864 Geneva Convention and all the way up to the 2008 Convention on Cluster Munitions, the world has sought to eliminate the most horrible parts of armed conflict. There are rules about intentionally starving civilian populations, controlling the weather, dipping bullets in garlic and toxic substances, and even a whole convention on the use ...

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Scientists Recommend Easing Back Into Work After Holidays

Scientists Recommend Easing Back Into Work After Holidays5 votes / 5 Stars No one likes work.  Even those people who tell you they love what they do.  They hate work more than the rest of us, they’ve just deluded themselves into believing that they don’t.  Those people also like boy bands, have tattoos of cartoon characters, respond to penis enlargement emails, and probably still drink wine coolers.  People especially hate returning to work after a holiday break or a vacation.  Now scientists believe jumping back in after a break is harmful to your health.  Dr. Lucy Rogers, behavioral psychologist at the University of Washington Social and Behavioral institute weighed in on the subject. Work stress is like a spring.  It builds ...

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Border Wall Will Make Fleeing Obama Impossible

Border Wall Will Make Fleeing Obama Impossible5 votes / 5 Stars Donald Trump wants to build a wall to keep out drugs and undesirables.  Most of the people to whom he panders agree that a wall is a great thing.  There is a glaringly obvious flaw in their plan, however. We spoke with Ernie Greber of the Michigan Militia, who informed us that Trump is clearly a plant by Hillary Clinton.  He presented evidence which was ‘irrefutable’ and ‘beyond reproach,’ which showed that Trump’s wall plan was not designed to keep illegals out, but to keep Americans in. Basically, we’re dealing with a Nazi here.  He’s just like a Stalin and a Kim (Il, not Un).  He wants that wall, ...

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