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Tag Archives: protection

Homeland Security: We Can Only Afford to Protect 45 States

Homeland Security: We Can Only Afford to Protect 45 States 4 votes / 5 Stars WASHINGTON D.C. – In an unexpected, and stunning announcement from the DHS (Department of Homeland Security) undersecretary to the deputy chief of the Vice President, Timothy Hillsrom, we have learned that the department is so underfunded that drastic steps are being taken at this moment that will change all American’s level of safety.  Current 2016 funding levels limit DHS’s ability to protect the entire nation. In fact, we are getting word that in fiscal year 2017 only 45 of the 50 states in the union will fall under DHS protection.  And that change completely ignores protectorates like Puerto Rico. The announcement, which will certainly induce ...

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Scientists Recommend Easing Back Into Work After Holidays

Scientists Recommend Easing Back Into Work After Holidays 5 votes / 5 Stars No one likes work.  Even those people who tell you they love what they do.  They hate work more than the rest of us, they’ve just deluded themselves into believing that they don’t.  Those people also like boy bands, have tattoos of cartoon characters, respond to penis enlargement emails, and probably still drink wine coolers.  People especially hate returning to work after a holiday break or a vacation.  Now scientists believe jumping back in after a break is harmful to your health.  Dr. Lucy Rogers, behavioral psychologist at the University of Washington Social and Behavioral institute weighed in on the subject. Work stress is like a spring.  It ...

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Try to Land Softly

Try to Land Softly 3 votes / 5 Stars   +110

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Always Wear Protective Gear

Always Wear Protective Gear 2 votes / 5 Stars   +20

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Energy Drinks Lead to Dressing Like a Douche

Energy Drinks Lead to Dressing Like a Douche 6 votes / 4.33 Stars SCOTTSDALE, Arizona – Consumption of energy drinks is growing exponentially, especially among young men with a penchant for acting stupid, dressing stupidly, and doing stupid things.  There is now compelling evidence that it’s not just the dress that leads to the lifestyle, but the drinks.  People always note that douchebags typically talk about or are seen with energy drinks.  New evidence suggests that the link is more than just correlation. As it turns out, human beings are herd animals, and as such continuously seek approval from the herd.  People who enjoy energy drinks use that fact as a rallying point.  In any societal group that revolves around a ...

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Cooking Spray Unsafe For Millennials

Cooking Spray Unsafe For Millennials 4 votes / 5 Stars Millennials have a difficult time with arrows, because they feel all arrows should point toward them. This makes cooking spray a challenge, because the business end of the nozzle is pointed in the same direction as the arrow.  The original intent of the arrow on the nozzle was to help normal people realize where the stuff was going to come out. It seems there are some unintended consequences, especially among millennials. Millennials are the most entitled and self-centered generation of Americans to date, and they have essentially no idea that other people exist. Psychologists call this ‘malignant narcissism,’ and it’s a real issue with which many must deal.  Those affected ...

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Pedophiles Three Times as Likely to Skip Breakfast

Pedophiles Three Times as Likely to Skip Breakfast 3 votes / 5 Stars While pretty much everyone agrees that pedophiles are disgusting people (with perhaps the sole exception being pedophiles themselves), something they need to stop doing is skipping breakfast.  The importance of a balanced breakfast cannot be understated, but these guys just don’t seem to care.  It’s a well known fact that breakfast helps your brain work better, and helps you make better decisions.  Since pedophiles are generally less likely to be intelligent in the first place, they need all the help they can get. Researchers at the sexual medicine department at the University Medical Center Schleswig-Holstein (UKSH) had all sorts of important things to say about pedophiles, such as, ...

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The Sun: Why It’s Best Avoided

The Sun: Why It’s Best Avoided 4 votes / 5 Stars The sun, like most other aspects of the universe, is trying to kill you.  Far too many people know little to nothing about the sun, and its sinister motives.  Exposure to the sun can give you all kinds of maladies, from sunburn to skin cancer.  It can bake you like a potato, or fry you like an egg.  Given these facts, why do people go outside during the day? It may surprise you to know that the sun is actually a star.  Unlike most stars, it’s just very close.  Stars are gigantic nuclear reactors, and I think we can all agree that nuclear energy is bad.  With disasters like ...

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The Benefits of Cooking in DuPont™ Tyvek® Coveralls

The Benefits of Cooking in DuPont™ Tyvek® Coveralls 4 votes / 5 Stars Cooking is one of the most dangerous activities Americans participate in on a daily basis.  While, here at IS, we recommend that no one actually does it, we realize that it will take some time until machines can do it for us.  In the meantime, how can you, the consumer / citizen, protect yourself from harm while taking part in this extremely harmful activity? We have several suggestions. Avoid cooking with open flames.  Open flames are incredibly unsafe.  Fire, as many people have learned over their lifetime, is incredibly hot.  It can do all manner of horrible things, from removing wanted hair, to melting skin and clothing. ...

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