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Tag Archives: murder

Hillary Clintons Deceased Enemies List.

Hillary Clintons Deceased Enemies List. 15 votes / 4.93 Stars Who stands up for them? Watch the video below to put some faces with the names. Help #GetTheWordOut   +520

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Allah to Followers: If I Wanted the Infidels Dead I Would Kill Them Myself

Allah to Followers: If I Wanted the Infidels Dead I Would Kill Them Myself 5 votes / 5 Stars TEHRAN, Iran – Allah, the great and merciful God of the Muslim religion has the power to create great floods, send earthquakes to level entire cities, and use lightning to strike at will. For some unknown reason the one power Allah evidently does not have (according to his followers), is the ability to kill Islamic enemies and Infidels himself. Oops, sorry leftists, him/herself. Reports are beginning to circulate out of Tehran Iran that during a meeting of Imams discussing the treatment of infidels and their families Allah appeared and had a message for not only the people in attendance but for ...

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Spousal Murder Far Less Expensive Than Divorce

Spousal Murder Far Less Expensive Than Divorce 6 votes / 5 Stars We’ve all seen episodes of Forensic Files and Snapped and wondered why or how a person could murder their spouse.  Isn’t it easier to just get a divorce and be done with it?  Turns out, the answer to that question is a resounding ‘no.’  The bridal industry, an industry designed to infantilize women and sell them a false ideal which starts their marriage out on the worst possible footing, debt, is a $2 Billion a year industry.  The divorce industry in the US alone is worth easily 15 times that just in attorney’s fees.  The real numbers are staggering, and some claim the number is close to $30 Billion.  It’s a ...

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Confirmed: Hillary Clinton Murdered a Baby With a Hammer

Confirmed: Hillary Clinton Murdered a Baby With a Hammer 8 votes / 4 Stars That’s right, folks.  Hillary Clinton, the de facto Democratic nominee, and potential next president of the united states beat a tiny, innocent baby to death with a hammer.  Can you believe it? It has recently come to our attention that the vast majority of Americans would love to believe the above headline.  The sad fact is, many of them will share this without ever reading more than the headline.  The best part of the whole thing is, if you don’t tell them, they’ll never know. How many of your friends won’t bother reading this before they share it?  I wonder. Read it, then share it.  Don’t ...

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ISIS to Begin Using Softer, Gentler Ways to Punish Infidels

ISIS to Begin Using Softer, Gentler Ways to Punish Infidels 4 votes / 5 Stars DAMASCUS, Syria – Economic struggles worldwide have hit everyone and terrorists are not immune to the struggles of making ends meet. Tourism has decreased dramatically in area’s controlled by ISIS militants and they have looked at many different ways to change their ability to balance the budget. “We ran a 4 Billion dollar deficit last year”, claims Awlaki Mohammad,  ISIS treasurer. “Infidels are afraid of us and have stopped coming. We need Infidels money badly.” Mohammad reached out to the Elsheikh Public Relations corporation for assistance with their marketing and image. Early on it looks like times are changing quickly for the Jihadist’s bottom line. ...

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Comedians Fear Clinton Presidency

Comedians Fear Clinton Presidency 4 votes / 5 Stars The President of the United States has always been a target for comedians.  Chevy Chase as Gerald Ford falling down stairs or Will Farrel As George Bush on SNL, all the way back to the cartoons about Abe Lincoln in the New Yorker, poking fun at the president has always been fair game.  There are concerns among comedians that a Clinton presidency will change all that. Clinton seems to be utterly humorless.  While there is a tremendous amount to make fun of, there is no understanding of humor on the part of Hillary herself.  It’s as if she wasn’t issued a sense of humor at birth and never developed one later. ...

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NFL Set to Expand Sidelines to Accommodate Parole Officers

NFL Set to Expand Sidelines to Accommodate Parole Officers 4 votes / 5 Stars NEW YORK, New York –  The National Football League has announced an unprecedented on field expansion to accommodate the large number of parole supervisors who are required to attend games with their parolees. In a unanimous vote the owners have agreed to all previsions requested by the league to monitor the activities of its players. It costs me several thousand dollars per game to put parole officers in the stands to watch their parolees on the field. – Jerry Jones – owner, Dallas Cowboys. Coaches and players are always expected to remain between the 30 yard line markers. The parole officers will get a special area ...

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Ms. ISIS Beauty Pageant Ends in Controversy

Ms. ISIS Beauty Pageant Ends in Controversy 5 votes / 5 Stars DAMASCUS Syria – The first ever Ms. Isis beauty pageant was hailed as the biggest event in Syria in decades and lived up to the hype. Hundreds of homes across the middle east tuned in to see their favorite beauty queens strut and pose in a competition for the ages. The lucky winner was set to receive the coveted golden burqa which can be worn triumphantly in any social situation. Little did anyone know the night would end in controversy and rage as a wardrobe malfunction sent the entire Muslim world into a rage. The issue took place during the stone throwing competition. The front runner, Shakina Iskhden, had ...

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People Named Paul, Likely Serial Killers

People Named Paul, Likely Serial Killers 4 votes / 5 Stars Where the Hell is Paul? We all ask this question, at least any of us who know Paul.  He never seems to be around but just what the heck is he doing? The answer to that question may suprise you. He is likely killing someone right now. Don’t just take my word for it. Do a simple Google search for serial killers named Paul. The results are startling. Now think back to the last time someone within a 50 mile radius was murdered. Where was Paul? I think we all know the answer to this question. Growing up I had a friend named Paul. We had to stop hanging ...

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10 Things You Need to Know About Ghost Safety

10 Things You Need to Know About Ghost Safety 5 votes / 5 Stars As Halloween quickly approaches, it’s important that we all learn a little bit about supernatural safety.  We have put together a partial list of safety tips and crisis points concerning ghosts and apparitions for those of you struggling to come to terms with your hauntings. No matter what you may have heard no ghost will ever take a chance on killing you. The one advantage they have over you is the fact that they’re a supernatural being and you’re not. They (Spirits) know that killing you will only cause you to become a spirit too and you will likely be angry with them for killing you. ...

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