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Donald Trump Followed By Large Combative Cloud Of Global Warming

Donald Trump Followed By Large Combative Cloud Of Global Warming 1 vote / 5 Stars NEW YORK, New York – Depending on whether you are a Republican or Democrat you likely have very different views on global warming and the causes of the fluctuations in temperatures worldwide. Global warming has no such biases and seems to have made its beliefs known. Over the last month, as President Trump has traveled from coast to coast, a large antagonistic cloud of global warming has followed. Many inside the beltway have become very concerned and have politicized the cumulus obstruction to The President. “You know things are bad when clouds become sentient,” said Nancy Pelosi (House Minority Leader CA), “If there was a ...

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Sounding: What it is, and Why You Should NEVER Google it

Sounding: What it is, and Why You Should NEVER Google it 3 votes / 5 Stars We’ve written before about polyembolokoilamania and the freakish thing it actually is.  We’ve even written about one particular subset of that practice known as gerbiling.  We’ve recently learned of another subset of this condition known as sounding.  Sounding is the practice of inserting objects of ever-increasing width into the urethra (usually in men) in an effort to widen it.  They actually sell kits for the DIY sounder.  We really don’t understand the reason behind it, but we do understand that people are doing it.  Once you get past the inevitable cringe moment and the obligatory, “But, why?” you’re left with only protecting the weirdos ...

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Poll : 96% of Aborted Babies Plan to Vote for Hillary

Poll : 96% of Aborted Babies Plan to Vote for Hillary 4 votes / 5 Stars ATLANTA, Georgia – A recent 2016 Presidential poll conducted by CNN points to a tremendous advantage for Former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton among former aborted babies nationwide. The poll, conducted over a period of three days shows Ms. Clinton with a commanding 96% lead while Donald Trump holds 2% and 2% remain undecided. This is a major blow to Republicans everywhere and shows an odd inability among aborted babies to understand politics and party affiliation. We recently caught up with Tim Stearling (CNN polls coordinator) to ask why the poll was done and how the results were so skewed. ” We wanted to point ...

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Trump Supporter Starts Business Catering to Sanders Supporters

Trump Supporter Starts Business Catering to Sanders Supporters 6 votes / 5 Stars EAST HARTFORD, Conn – A man in Connecticut has started a business that caters to the dejected and depressed supporters of Bernie Sanders.  These former BernBots turned BernOuts are fed up.  After his disappointing loss to Clinton in Maryland, and having been removed from ballots in PA, many of his supporters are simply giving up.  Not on the campaign, not on the process, but on life.  We don’t condone suicide and think these people are clearly overreacting to an obvious fix by the Democratic party leadership, but that doesn’t stop them from taking rash action. Connecticut resident, gun owner, and entrepreneur, Eric Carson, has decided to strike while ...

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HomophobiPhobes Ruining Homosexuality for Everyone

HomophobiPhobes Ruining Homosexuality for Everyone 6 votes / 5 Stars CHARLESTON, South Carolina – Violence against anyone is frowned upon in America and rightly so. Recently we have become aware of a new brand of hatred and violence coming out of Charleston, South Carolina, and the results have drug the entire capital city kicking and screaming into equal rights debates at every kitchen table in America. Homophobiphobes are a group that grew out of necessity and through the evolution of man’s grip on the rights of the individual and laws of the masses. As more laws are written or erased in regards to homosexuality, homophobes have stood on the front lines with a loud, mostly unopposed, voice. That is until ...

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Charleston Man Fired Due to Flatulence

Charleston Man Fired Due to Flatulence 4 votes / 5 Stars CHARLESTON, West Virginia – A battle of prodigious magnitude is dawning at a diminutive regency office in the suburbs of Charleston West Virginia. The struggle lies between a man, Jorge Borgious, his former employer, and the union that was supposed to be representing his interests, after being terminated due to repeated violations of (Kanahwa Counties’s ) all too strict flatulence policies. According to the lawsuit filed recently by Mr. Borgious he has a condition, Gerd (Gastroesophageal reflux disease), that by some accounts should protect him under the ADA (American’s with Disabilities Act). According to his attorney, Ayer Reeks Esq, laws were broken in the termination of Mr. Borgious. My ...

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Ohio Man Celebrates 480 Months Heroin-Free

Ohio Man Celebrates 480 Months Heroin-Free 6 votes / 5 Stars YOUNGSTOWN, Ohio –  Perseverant, indefatigable, resolute. One man stands as a testament to the power of the soul over addiction and adds another slash to the wall of persistence. Julio Brown May look like an ordinary Youngstown, Ohio resident but you can’t judge a book by its cover. On March 11 of this year, Julio set a new personal milestone in his life by hitting his 480th-month being heroin free. It get’s harder everyday. This is no picnic. Nobody pats me on the back for this but I do it for me. It would be easy for me to fall off the wagon. Maybe then people would pay more ...

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Uber has no restroom hand washing policy

Uber has no restroom hand washing policy 3 votes / 5 Stars Investigations often bring to light interesting facts not related to the original investigation. This was the case when we at I.S. began investigating Uber (The quasi-nationwide taxi service) and their hiring practices due to recent issues with employees. What we uncovered turned out to be far darker, and far more sinister than anything we anticipated. According to A former employee, and Uber’s own users handbook we have learned that the transportation giant has no hand washing policy. According to a current employee, whom we shall refer to as Peter, the company has been aware for some time that the automobiles are filled with bacteria and potential illness and failed ...

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Cruz to Ohio and Florida Voters: Trump Died

Cruz to Ohio and Florida Voters: Trump Died 7 votes / 5 Stars COLUMBUS, OH – The dirty tricks just keep coming from the Presidential campaign of Ted Cruz. As we all know he perpetrated an act of literal sabotage against Dr. Ben Carson by telling voters, both verbally and through email, that Dr Carson had dropped out of the race to steal votes away from the candidate early on. Just this week the Cruz campaign has been caught telling voters in Hawaii that Marco Rubio had dropped out of the race in order to steal votes from the Rubio campaign. Now the most heinous of all deliberate lies has been concocted against the campaign of frontrunner Donald Trump. An ...

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Therapists Recommend a Combination of Marijuana and Bob Ross for Anxiety

Therapists Recommend a Combination of Marijuana and Bob Ross for Anxiety 7 votes / 5 Stars SEATTLE, Washington – Anxiety is a tremendous problem in the western world.  It’s more pronounced among intellectuals and intelligent people.  The more intelligent a person, the more likely they are to experience anxiety on a chronic or clinical basis.  It’s gotten so bad that nearly 20% of the civilized world can be diagnosed with anxiety disorders or a combination of anxiety and depressive disorders.  Many point to the hectic pace of western life as the culprit, but the cause is still under investigation. Since we don’t know the cause, what about the cure?  Most in the psychological community don’t talk in terms of cures, but ...

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