Casey Anthony to be Awarded Congressional Late Term Abortion Lifetime Achievement...

WASHINGTON D.C.- The 115th session of Congress is set to be one of the most contentious sessions in our nation's history. From Healthcare legislation...

America 2017

One day a florist went to a barber for a haircut. After the cut, he asked about his bill, and the barber replied, 'I cannot...

Porn Starlets Inserting Ever Larger Items Into Their Rectums

There is a disturbing trend in American pornography that may have its roots in (You guessed it) German dungeon porn.  That trend is to...

Happy Mother’s Day from Immediate Safety

We all know about your strained relationship with your mother.  Get off your butt and go get her flowers before the florist closes.  Time's...

In Effort to Prevent Future Beatings, United Airlines Implements Passenger Safewords

CHICAGO, IL - Embattled United Airlines announced today that it would make changes to passenger boarding procedures to prevent future beatings.  The airline, as...

Donald Trump Followed By Large Combative Cloud Of Global Warming

NEW YORK, New York - Depending on whether you are a Republican or Democrat you likely have very different views on global warming and...

President Trump Signs Executive Order Making Everything You Read Today Literally...

In a late night Oval Office session yesterday, President Trump signed an executive order making everything you read today literally true.  Spokespeople for the...

Transgender Loophole: US Women’s Olympic Team Set to Dominate Games

The plan may not have been obvious before but it is now.  The identity politics game of the American social justice movement has been...

Donald Trump The Leader Of The Great Hats?

NEW YORK, New York - 2016 was the year of iconic election moment after iconic election moment. From Wikileaks to #Pizzagate and everywhere in-between...

A Day Without Women Becomes Revenge of the Patriarchy

DALLAS, Texas - In a bold move, women all over the nation used the advent of International Women's Day, the 8th of March, to...