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Tag Archives: death

Hillary Clintons Deceased Enemies List.

Hillary Clintons Deceased Enemies List.15 votes / 4.9 Stars Who stands up for them? Watch the video below to put some faces with the names. Help #GetTheWordOut   +520

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Keith Richards Requires Musician Life Force To Survive

Keith Richards Requires Musician Life Force To Survive6 votes / 4.8 Stars This year has been marked by a tremendous loss in the realm of Music.  It’s gotten disheartening to music lovers where every week brings a new announcement of great musician’s passing.  Now, the people investigating have determined a possible cause. As it turns out, it’s Keith Richards.  Everyone knows he should have died in the 80’s due to drug use and hard living, but he didn’t.  In fact, he’s still kicking.  How, though?  Fans will notice that he has looked essentially the same for the past 30 years, which is surprising to everyone who’s ever met a person, ever.  People age and they look different as they do.  Keith, though, ...

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NFL Set to Expand Sidelines to Accommodate Parole Officers

NFL Set to Expand Sidelines to Accommodate Parole Officers4 votes / 5 Stars NEW YORK, New York –  The National Football League has announced an unprecedented on field expansion to accommodate the large number of parole supervisors who are required to attend games with their parolees. In a unanimous vote the owners have agreed to all previsions requested by the league to monitor the activities of its players. It costs me several thousand dollars per game to put parole officers in the stands to watch their parolees on the field. – Jerry Jones – owner, Dallas Cowboys. Coaches and players are always expected to remain between the 30 yard line markers. The parole officers will get a special area between ...

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Cats Don’t Have 9 Lives, Federal Study Finds

Cats Don’t Have 9 Lives, Federal Study Finds4 votes / 5 Stars ANTIOCH, Ohio – Researchers at the small animal and rodent research labs at Ohio University have recently released several years worth of research aimed at creating life saving abilities for human beings through the study of cats and their 9 lives. More than $200 million has been invested by the federal government in an attempt to find what it is that gives a cat its 9 lives.  Also, how to extract this ability from the cats, and implant these abilities into human beings. The research is being overseen by Dr. Fillmore Coffers who is head of the institute. The process is taking far longer than expected. We have ...

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Erotic, Auto-Erotic Asphyxiation Do’s and Don’ts

Erotic, Auto-Erotic Asphyxiation Do’s and Don’ts5 votes / 4.6 Stars SCHENECTADY NY – Since the death of David Carradine due to auto-erotic asphyxiation, the practice has not only been on the radar of many Americans, it’s also been brought to a wider audience.  Exposing the general public to a practice that is unsafe by its nature is seldom a good idea, because there is so little information on how to do it safely.  That’s where we come in. Bear in mind, we think no one should ever take part in activities like this, but we know that many people are too set in their dangerous ways to be swayed to the safe side of the argument.  If you insist on ...

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Bad Grammar Linked to Silly, Accidental Deaths

Bad Grammar Linked to Silly, Accidental Deaths4 votes / 5 Stars ACCIDENT, Maryland- A recent study by the Life Insurance Actuarial Research Society in Accident, Maryland has shown a startling link between poor grammar and the type of death and injury that most people find hilarious.  In recently collected insurance industry statistics, most silly deaths and injuries were suffered by people who seldom use punctuation, or confuse ‘to,’ ‘too’ and ‘two.’  Life insurance actuarial scientists have begun to develop a more clear picture of how the new data can be used to adjust premiums, as well as life expectancy charts.  Amanda Slaughter, and actuarial scientist with the society spoke with us about the recent findings. We were not surprised to find ...

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People Named Paul, Likely Serial Killers

People Named Paul, Likely Serial Killers4 votes / 5 Stars Where the Hell is Paul? We all ask this question, at least any of us who know Paul.  He never seems to be around but just what the heck is he doing? The answer to that question may suprise you. He is likely killing someone right now. Don’t just take my word for it. Do a simple Google search for serial killers named Paul. The results are startling. Now think back to the last time someone within a 50 mile radius was murdered. Where was Paul? I think we all know the answer to this question. Growing up I had a friend named Paul. We had to stop hanging out ...

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10 Things You Need to Know About Ghost Safety

10 Things You Need to Know About Ghost Safety5 votes / 5 Stars As Halloween quickly approaches, it’s important that we all learn a little bit about supernatural safety.  We have put together a partial list of safety tips and crisis points concerning ghosts and apparitions for those of you struggling to come to terms with your hauntings. No matter what you may have heard no ghost will ever take a chance on killing you. The one advantage they have over you is the fact that they’re a supernatural being and you’re not. They (Spirits) know that killing you will only cause you to become a spirit too and you will likely be angry with them for killing you. Imagine ...

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