Cooking Spray Unsafe For Millennials
Millennials have a difficult time with arrows because they feel all arrows should point toward them. This makes cooking spray a challenge because the...
Walmart to Replace Stockers With Robots, Reactions Mixed on Stangflip strategy
BENTONVILLE, Arkansas - The Walmart corporation, the largest retailer in the world, is preparing to replace more than half of their overnight shelve stocking...
Energy Drinks Lead to Dressing Like a Douche
SCOTTSDALE, Arizona - Consumption of energy drinks is growing exponentially, especially among young men with a penchant for acting stupid, dressing stupidly, and doing...
Air in Beijing an Effective Industrial Solvent
BEIJING, China - The air in Beijing is highly toxic. It's so bad, it makes 1980s Los Angeles look like a fresh, spring meadow....
President Trump To Adorn commemorative Cheetos Bag
COLUMBUS, Ohio - A big announcement is expected soon from the Frito-Lay corporation regarding our newly elected President Donald J. Trump. According to reports,...
Mayor Emanuel to Announce ‘Guns for Jordans’ Initiative
CHICAGO, Illinois- Mayor Rahm Emanuel has scheduled a major press conference for next week to introduce the newest and grandest idea to get guns...
CZ Boss Phone Changing Prisons Through Keistering
CINCINNATI, Ohio - An idea whose time has finally come. The world was recently introduced to the '3 in 1 Long-CZ J8 Beat The...