How Do We Make Guns Safer?
Guns are inherently unsafe. They kill nearly everyone who comes near them. That is, of course, with the inexplicable exception of redneck, white, conservative,...
Cooking Spray Unsafe For Millennials
Millennials have a difficult time with arrows because they feel all arrows should point toward them. This makes cooking spray a challenge because the...
Mayor Emanuel to Announce ‘Guns for Jordans’ Initiative
CHICAGO, Illinois- Mayor Rahm Emanuel has scheduled a major press conference for next week to introduce the newest and grandest idea to get guns...
President Trump To Adorn commemorative Cheetos Bag
COLUMBUS, Ohio - A big announcement is expected soon from the Frito-Lay corporation regarding our newly elected President Donald J. Trump. According to reports,...
What Your Pizza Crust Choice Says About You
We all love pizza (unless there is something wrong with us). Everyone has topping preferences, and some even have sauce preferences. Pizza is so...
STD Safe
Have you ever met someone and just new you had to have Intercourse immediately? Of course you have. I am sure during each instance...
Energy Drinks Lead to Dressing Like a Douche
SCOTTSDALE, Arizona - Consumption of energy drinks is growing exponentially, especially among young men with a penchant for acting stupid, dressing stupidly, and doing...