Air in Beijing an Effective Industrial Solvent
BEIJING, China - The air in Beijing is highly toxic. It's so bad, it makes 1980s Los Angeles look like a fresh, spring meadow....
Walmart to Replace Stockers With Robots, Reactions Mixed on Stangflip strategy
BENTONVILLE, Arkansas - The Walmart corporation, the largest retailer in the world, is preparing to replace more than half of their overnight shelve stocking...
CZ Boss Phone Changing Prisons Through Keistering
CINCINNATI, Ohio - An idea whose time has finally come. The world was recently introduced to the '3 in 1 Long-CZ J8 Beat The...
How Do We Make Guns Safer?
Guns are inherently unsafe. They kill nearly everyone who comes near them. That is, of course, with the inexplicable exception of redneck, white, conservative,...
What Your Pizza Crust Choice Says About You
We all love pizza (unless there is something wrong with us). Everyone has topping preferences, and some even have sauce preferences. Pizza is so...
President Trump To Adorn commemorative Cheetos Bag
COLUMBUS, Ohio - A big announcement is expected soon from the Frito-Lay corporation regarding our newly elected President Donald J. Trump. According to reports,...
Energy Drinks Lead to Dressing Like a Douche
SCOTTSDALE, Arizona - Consumption of energy drinks is growing exponentially, especially among young men with a penchant for acting stupid, dressing stupidly, and doing...