Mayor Emanuel to Announce ‘Guns for Jordans’ Initiative
CHICAGO, Illinois- Mayor Rahm Emanuel has scheduled a major press conference for next week to introduce the newest and grandest idea to get guns...
STD Safe
Have you ever met someone and just new you had to have Intercourse immediately? Of course you have. I am sure during each instance...
President Trump To Adorn commemorative Cheetos Bag
COLUMBUS, Ohio - A big announcement is expected soon from the Frito-Lay corporation regarding our newly elected President Donald J. Trump. According to reports,...
Walmart to Replace Stockers With Robots, Reactions Mixed on Stangflip strategy
BENTONVILLE, Arkansas - The Walmart corporation, the largest retailer in the world, is preparing to replace more than half of their overnight shelve stocking...
How Do We Make Guns Safer?
Guns are inherently unsafe. They kill nearly everyone who comes near them. That is, of course, with the inexplicable exception of redneck, white, conservative,...
Air in Beijing an Effective Industrial Solvent
BEIJING, China - The air in Beijing is highly toxic. It's so bad, it makes 1980s Los Angeles look like a fresh, spring meadow....
Cooking Spray Unsafe For Millennials
Millennials have a difficult time with arrows because they feel all arrows should point toward them. This makes cooking spray a challenge because the...