Energy Drinks Lead to Dressing Like a Douche
SCOTTSDALE, Arizona - Consumption of energy drinks is growing exponentially, especially among young men with a penchant for acting stupid, dressing stupidly, and doing...
Cooking Spray Unsafe For Millennials
Millennials have a difficult time with arrows because they feel all arrows should point toward them. This makes cooking spray a challenge because the...
Air in Beijing an Effective Industrial Solvent
BEIJING, China - The air in Beijing is highly toxic. It's so bad, it makes 1980s Los Angeles look like a fresh, spring meadow....
Acclaim set to release followup to “Guitar Hero” with “Cowbell Hero”
TIMPUEY, Hong Kong - The Acclaim corporation is set to make one of the biggest video game releases in recent memory next week with...
STD Safe
Have you ever met someone and just new you had to have Intercourse immediately? Of course you have. I am sure during each instance...
How Do We Make Guns Safer?
Guns are inherently unsafe. They kill nearly everyone who comes near them. That is, of course, with the inexplicable exception of redneck, white, conservative,...
Walmart to Replace Stockers With Robots, Reactions Mixed on Stangflip strategy
BENTONVILLE, Arkansas - The Walmart corporation, the largest retailer in the world, is preparing to replace more than half of their overnight shelve stocking...