5 (100%) 6 votes
Cheaper to keep her, or to kill her?

We’ve all seen episodes of Forensic Files and Snapped and wondered why or how a person could murder their spouse.  Isn’t it easier to just get a divorce and be done with it?  Turns out, the answer to that question is a resounding ‘no.’  The bridal industry, an industry designed to infantilize women and sell them a false ideal which starts their marriage out on the worst possible footing, debt, is a $2 Billion a year industry.  The divorce industry in the US alone is worth easily 15 times that just in attorney’s fees.  The real numbers are staggering, and some claim the number is close to $30 Billion.  It’s a huge business.  To put that into perspective, Americans consumed about $7.3 Billion in yogurt in 2015.  That means people in the US spend more than four times what they spend on yogurt on the dissolution of marriage.

Given those numbers and the fact that over half the marriages in the US end in divorce, it’s a wonder people get married at all.  Estimates put the average cost of divorce at roughly $15,000.  That’s counting all the uncontested divorces where no children are involved.  When you only include marriages with resulting children the number gets much closer to $50,000.  That’s the value of two years of ivy league education and it only goes to pay bald attorneys to drive convertible BMWs.

I always used to watch Forensic Files and wonder why they just didn’t get a divorce instead of killing their husband, then I got divorced.  After that and the huge bill, the insane wrangling, the flaming hoops I had to jump through with the courts…  I can totally understand why people choose murder. –Amanda H – Dublin, OH

The faceless, professional solution?

As a result of this insane expense, people are turning to the dark web to find hitmen in droves.  If it costs $10,000 to hire a wet boy to murder your spouse, that’s a bargain at twice the price when compared to a $50,000 divorce.  It’s as if the Divorce Industrial Complex has cemented the murder-for-hire industry as a viable option.  A person can download the Onion Router, install the Onion Browser and find a hitman who takes bitcoins in less than twenty minutes.  A divorce takes months, if not years.

Couple the fact that murder is cheap with the fact that cops tend to stop investigating murders after 48 hours and it starts to look more appealing by the minute.  If you have your spouse murdered and aren’t named as a suspect within 48 hours, odds are you’re home free.  The laziness of investigators is your best friend.

It’s apparent that things in the divorce industry need to change, or the murder industry could become the superior multi-billion dollar alternative.  These people aren’t murdering heads of state or famous people, they’re murdering average Joes and Josephines.  People tend not to care as much or forget quickly.  Friends of the murdered person give up on the pursuit of a killer, and friends of the surviving spouse tend to take their side in celebrating the death.  A competent hitman makes the whole thing look like an accident which further serves to deflect suspicion.

From a safety perspective, we recommend avoiding marriage altogether and going with hookers.  If you must get married, though, protect your assets.  Also, be willing to hire the hitman first.  Spousal murder may not be the best way out of your situation, but it may solve more problems than it causes.  Ask your local hitman if the wet option is right for you.  Given the fact that California legislators are seeking to empower judges to decide which spouse can murder the other, get it while the getting is good.

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