Charleston Man Fired Due to Flatulence

CHARLESTON, West Virginia - A battle of prodigious magnitude is dawning at a diminutive regency office in the suburbs of Charleston West Virginia. The...

Cheap Chinese Eucharist Carcinogenic, Catholics Upset

BRAINTREE, Massachusetts - The holy sacrament of the Eucharist is as much a part of the Catholic lifestyle as shaking hands during the Peace segment...

Porn Starlets Inserting Ever Larger Items Into Their Rectums

There is a disturbing trend in American pornography that may have its roots in (You guessed it) German dungeon porn.  That trend is to...

The Sun: Why It’s Best Avoided

The sun, like most other aspects of the universe, is trying to kill you.  Far too many people know little to nothing about the...

HomophobiPhobes Ruining Homosexuality for Everyone

CHARLESTON, South Carolina - Violence against anyone is frowned upon in America and rightly so. Recently we have become aware of a new brand...

Popular Music and Ear Safety

The ability to hear for many is considered the most valuable of the senses. To hear the voice of a loved one or a...

Nose Pickers Healthier and Live Longer

It is maybe the biggest taboo in American culture. It is one of the fastest ways to become ostracized from the rest of society....

Susan G. Komen Declares War On Pink… Salt?

The Susan G. Komen Foundation is making a Trump-esque play for all things pink. It claims ownership of the color and the word, and...

New Marijuana Game, Smokémon, Killing Kids

With widespread acceptance of marijuana culture and use, a new danger has arisen for children.  Like college kids and frat houses love their drinking...

Scientists Recommend Easing Back Into Work After Holidays

No one likes work.  Even those people who tell you they love what they do.  They hate to work more than the rest of...