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In light of the recent Chipotle, E. coli scare, this article was one whose time had come.  The truth is, tacos are incredibly dangerous.  When it comes to foods, they’re the least safe because of the ingredients used in their preparation.  Lots of fresh vegetables, like tomatoes, lettuce, onions, etc. are used on tacos.  Don’t even get us started on guacamole.  All squishy and green…

tofu-tacoIt’s simply too fresh.  Why too fresh?  It’s a well-known fact that bacteria like E. coli grow in fresh vegetables and undercooked meats.  Since no one can say that taco meat is undercooked, the culprit is almost always the vegetables.  Taco Bell had a scare revolving around shredded lettuce (a vegetable).  Costco had a scare revolving around onions and celery (vegetables).  Alfalfa sprouts (a vegetable) are often infected.  In 2006 there was a fresh spinach (a vegetable) related scare.  When you exclude the meat-related scares, the common thread is vegetables.  We’re becoming more and more certain that vegetables are trying to kill us by hosting harmful bacteria.

What can be done about this fact, especially in light of this new information?  We can’t stop eating, and since meat is so delicious, we need to exempt it from scrutiny and focus on evil vegetables.  Since vegetables are the cause, and tacos contain vegetables, the conclusions should be clear.  Avoid tacos with vegetables, and you’ll stay safe.

Below are lists of safe and unsafe ingredients for your tacos.

Safe

  • Chicken
  • Steak
  • Ground Beef
  • Pork
  • Bacon
  • Tortillas (corn and flour)
  • Cheese
  • Sour Cream
  • Turkey (but it sounds weird)
Unsafe

  • Lettuce
  • Tomatoes
  • Onions
  • Cilantro
  • Guacamole
  • Mangoes
  • Jalapenos
  • Other Peppers
  • Spinach (but why you’d want it is beyond us)

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