5/5 - (14 votes)

WASHINGTON, DC – Rape is an issue on the minds of many women and men across the Unites States, and our congress has finally started to take notice.  Freshman congresswoman, Norma Torres (D), California, has seen the horrors that grip society from coast to coast related to America’s apparent rape culture and refuses to allow it to continue. She has drafted legislation in conjunction with feminist interests to take a page from the anti-gun movement.  The proposal is to make rape even more illegal in certain ‘rape free’ zones.

Drug and gun freeLike gun free zones, rape free zones will have certain default locations, as well as leaving private locations open for adoption of the concept.  For instance, schools and churches are considered blanket rape free zones, while bars and areas catering to the nightlife are not.  Owners of those establishments can, at their discretion, hang ‘Rape Free Zone’ signs.  It’s a matter of owner preference.

Those in support of the idea are vocal about its potential for success.

I think this is a brilliant idea. We’ve already seen widespread adoption of drug free and gun free zones which have succeeded flawlessly, so this is an idea whose time has come.  The people have stared rape culture in the face and said, enough is enough.  The signs will be a clear message to rapists that rape is not OK and is especially egregious in marked “do note rape” zones. – Ellen Shumsky, Lavender Menace

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Opponents of the measure are equally vocal and think the zones send a poor message.  A spokesman for the National Coalition for Men said,

Look, we don’t condone rape.  In fact, we abhor it. We just think certain people will see the signs and decide that they mean rape is cool if you do it where there is no sign.  We’d literally need to hang signs everywhere for the less sophisticated  rapists to get it.  Besides that, making something more illegal is like double-secret probation.

No stranger to controversy, Daryush Valizadeh, of the pro-rape organization Return of Kings had a statement as well.  While we generally don’t care what people like him have to say, this one was interesting.

This piece of legislation will never make it out of committee.  Several members of the House Committee on Energy and Commerce may, or may not also be members of our organization. We won’t mention any names of those who may not be with us, but. suffice it to say, rape is here to stay and not just in places where rape is really REALLY not ok.

CroatiaLikewise, the Catholic church was none too pleased with the idea.  Father Pat McGroin, of the Metropolitan Archdiocese of Chicago, detailed the issues the church has with the idea.

This, more or less, turns a thousand plus years of tradition on its ear.  The United States has long held a separation of church and state, and this piece of legislation would be an unwelcome intrusion onto holy ground. Besides, our parishioners find the aggressively detailed signage to be offensize. We need to keep depictions of forcible rape and irregularly large phallic symbols out of our pews.

One thing is certain.  This legislation, if it passes, will put rapists on notice.  There will be no rapes today, sir. Take your business elsewhere.*

*terms and conditions apply, not available in all areas.

27 COMMENTS

  1. Once the perpetrator knows they are in a rape free zone they will have no choice but to stop what they are doing.

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