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DOJ Releases List of Crimes for Which They Will Not Prosecute Hillary Clinton

DOJ Releases List of Crimes for Which They Will Not Prosecute Hillary Clinton
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WASHINGTON, D.C. – The Federal Bureau of Investigation and the Department of Justice are under tremendous scrutiny for their handling of the crimes committed by Presidential hopeful and former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton. This is a day that the department of Justice does not want to relive anytime soon so they have decided to release an extensive list of crimes that the Clinton family is permitted to commit.

If the American people know beforehand what laws apply to the Clinton family we will be able to avoid press conferences in the future concerning probable indictments. This just makes the procedure run much more smoothly. Mohammad Jabbar – DOJ spokesman

Screenshot_20160712-101357We were already aware of perjury, sexual assault, sexual battery, rape, treason, mishandling of classified documents, lying under oath (yes I know that is perjury but they have done this so many times), charitable fraud, campaign fraud, and mail fraud. Now the DOJ has added several dozens of other crimes to that list for which they will refuse to indict the Clintons. This list includes:

Mopery Jay Walking
Public Urination Disturbing the Peace
Being Jewish in Poland Public Intoxication
Wearing cotton / poly blends Playing ding, dong, ditch
Indecent Exposure Indecent behavior
Driving while black Genocide
Embezzlement Racketering
Animal cruelty Mattress tag removal
Running a sweatshop Human trafficking
Illegal immigration Eating all the cookies before the AIDS bake sale
Hurling foreign objects Beastiality
Wrongful imprisonment Cultural appropriation

This list of crimes the former Secretary will not be charged with leads to the obvious question, what crimes WILL she be charged with assuming she commits them. We were able to get only two from Spokesman Jabbar. These two heinous acts are using a men’s restroom in North Carolina and refusing to bake a cake for a gay wedding. I certainly hope she wouldn’t dare.

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  1. Gary Ward

    THAT IS TOTAL B.S.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  2. Mark Allen Snow

    Please republish
    “Every single phone call their (Clinton, Sanders and O’Malley) volunteers have made, every voter contact at a town hall or county fair, is now a part of our (DNC) national database.”
    A mole working inside of the Sanders campaign.
    Hillary knew her emails were the issue from 2008:
    “Turn into nonpaper w no identifying heading and send nonsecure.”
    Hillary’s close ‘loyal adoring pal’ for billionaire Rothschild family
    Government staffer tells Hillary he will “sacrificing a chicken to Moloch”
    “Secretary Clinton’s leadership on Libya”
    Hillary being instructed by George Soros which she followed to the letter.
    Clinton aid Huma Abedin had access to Clinton email address
    Sidney Blumenthal’s ‘stolen’ Iranian elections gives her news before published in New Yorker
    Donna Brazile wants to ‘cuss out the Sanders camp’

    DNC member killing horses for insurance money.
    DNC Communications Director Ordered Anti-Sanders Article Be Shared ‘Without Attribution’
    Rhode Island, Where Governor Is ‘One of Ours,’ Reduces Polling Locations
    Hillary Clinton Campaign Sending Checks to DNC
    DWS says Jeff Weaver is a liar about Nevada Convention violence
    Sanders Won’t Have Convention Leverage (Back in April)
    DWS says, “It’s Silly that Sanders Thinks He’ll Be President.” In May.
    Luis Miranda of DNC Saying Clinton Not Really Under FBI Investigation
    Laughing “lol” At Bernie Wanting to Debate Before California
    State Parties’ Being Short on Resources Was Funny
    DNC telling each other, “I love you too. no homo.”
    DNC requesting to pull an MSNBC commentary segment.
    DNC controlling the narrative with time released stories.
    DNC conspiring to create false Trump information and release with Reuters.
    DNC Hillary supporters infiltrated Sanders campaign.
    Democrats using interns to organize fake “protests.”
    DNC members going to complain to Morning Joe producers about his mentioning of a “rigged system.”
    DNC discussing their relationship with NBC/MSNBC/CNN and how to get better treatment.
    Super PAC paying young voters to push back online Sanders supporters. Paid shills.
    DNC Chair Debbie Wasserman Schultz having an off the record meeting in MSNBC President Phil Griffin’s office.
    DNC being messed with by the Washington Examiner.
    DNC discussing Hillary’s policies as unfeasible.
    $200k for a private dinner with Hillary.
    Offering to send interns out to fake a protest against the RNC.
    Faking outrage and posting in a video later.
    Bringing up Sanders religion to scare the southern voters.
    Possible money laundering by moving money back and forth to bypass legal limits.
    Politico writer sending his stories to the DNC before he sends them to his editor.
    DNC feeding CNN the questions they want to be asked in interviews.
    Creating a fake job ad for a Trump business to paint him as a sexist.
    Hillary funding 2 million dollars in a cooridanted campaign in battleground states to win back the Senate.
    DNC is upset that their “allies” didn’t send in protestors so they sent out interns.
    “Clinton Foundation quid-pro-quo worries are lingering, will be exploited in general.”
    $50,000 – Lawrence Benenson.
    Daily Fundraising Report for the DNC.
    Content & Social Strategy Discussion.
    Re: BuzzFeed and DNC connection.
    Draft linking news articles about trump to use as negative press.
    Fwd: State Dinner Countdown.
    Some chick is angry she hasn’t been given more stuff from the Obama administration…might be interesting to follow up.
    Re: State Dinner Countdown.
    Tim O’Brien: Trump’s Fixation on Inflating his Net Worth is a Cause for Concern.
    RE: May Fundraising Numbers.
    Hillary for America Raised $26.4 Million in April, Began May with More than $30 Million Cash on Hand.
    Re: For approval: Trump supporter graphics.
    Press talking points, states Hillary is their candidate, dated May 5, 2016. More of a smoking gun than the ambiguous talk in the emails themselves.
    Consultant calling megyn kelly a bimbo. Has PDF attached that says the same.
    DNC trying to get away with violating the Hatch Act.
    RE: Action on DNC tomorrow (Immigration Raids).
    Army Training Lesson Cited Clinton as ‘Insider’ Threat Risk
    “Mothers and Fathers” vs, “Parent 1 and Parent 2”
    Hillary Clinton, Colin Powell and Henry Kissinger linked to the ‘Bohemian Grove’ cult

  3. Immediate Safety

    Facebook is blocking this post from being shared. According to them it was getting shared too quickly. Ill bet that dies not happen to proHillary posts lol thanks Joshua Randall we appreciate you reading our page.

  4. Joshua Randall

    took three failed tries, but it finally shared. Love the page.

  5. Ancel Salamon

    The AG must have made her retirement money from hillarious.

  6. Steve Clontz

    Monica got that, if she wins she will sit at the desk Monica was under! Lol, America first people!!!

  7. Ricky Searcy

    There is worthless filth infecting America that will vote for killery rotten. Americans won’t.

  8. Immediate Safety

    Haha well played Michael Lewis. You win this round. Thanks for being a good sport. It makes politics bearable.

  9. Greg Patterson

    Look at who the post was from

  10. Chris Strickland

    All I can say is NO PROOF in the court of law.

  11. Sherrie Horne Tucker

    If you do not arrest her then no one else should be srrested!! She is looney and we the people are fed up!! And we demand thatLynch th bully she is not arrest anyone else!!! You have let her get away with murder and many more crimes!!

  12. Otto Beenhere

    What she got away with here on Earth…. she will pay the Price in Hell along with bill. The kennedy’s, hitler, hussein and stalin. she will be ROTTING There.

  13. Ed Kowalczyk

    immediate safety = rightg wing bullshit Hillary for President!

  14. Tim Baker

    Anyone else convinced this is a new-haw commercial?

  15. Abraham Paguya

    Hell yes but Obama under cover on it

  16. Immediate Safety

    Indictments* Jake Spangler?

  17. Jake Spangler

    Number of convictions — 0. Number of inditements —0
    You wing nuts have ——-0

  18. Neil Osborn

    No, Killary wasn’t charged with bestiality and cruelty to animals, Bill was.

  19. Naomi Patton

    Her people don’t care what she did!

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