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WASHINGTON DC – The US House of Representatives is expected to pass a bill related to veteran’s healthcare.  It’s no surprise that they would, given the public popularity of veterans issues.  Bills like that are called ‘cream-puffs’ due to the simplicity of getting a majority to pass them.  During the amendment process, a provision was slipped into the bill which would be a defacto ban on the DoJ’s ability to enforce the nation’s marijuana laws.

When asked about this provision, Rep. Jason Smith, (R) Missouri, gave the following statement.

This campus protest thing is really getting out of hand.  We figure the only thing college kids like more than yelling into megaphones about race or rape or whatever it is they’re angry about these days, is weed.  It may be the only thing that makes them shut up long enough to get that pipeline done.  These kids are just loud…

marijuana-campusesSmith is historically against the legalization of cannabis, so his willingness, along with the willingness of others on his side of the aisle, to slip this amendment into the bill came as a surprise to many.  Staffers told us that most of the Republican members of congress are only fighting legalization so that they can use it as a bargaining chip for future pipeline related legislation.

No one really believes marijuana is bad.  Hell 90% of these guys smoke it.  How else do you explain their voting records?  I mean, one day they vote to ban some type of cow farming, then realize it’ll make Taco Bell more expensive so they vote the opposite later and giggle like idiots.

Quite frankly, we don’t care.  We’re just tired of hunting for reliable dealers.  They never call back…

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