Cleveland Browns: The Art of Perpetual Sadness

Oh, those lovable losers. The ones who try and try, but never taste the sweetness of success. The guy who grabs the microphone every Thursday...

A Browns Fan Named Sue

Why do some of us grow up with such amazing abilities to adapt to any of the horrors in our environment? Where do the...

Why Your Friends are Voting Trump

EVERYWHERE, America - We know you have asked yourself 1,000 times, 'Why are my friends voting for Donald Trump? Are they this stupid? Why...

Muslim Meteorologist Sues WMO Over racist Hurricane Names

BRUSSELS, Belgium - Islamic meteorologist, Dr. Hassier Abdul Mohammed, has filed a lawsuit in Brussels Palais De Justice seeking to change the 'racist' way...

New Year’s Resolutions Unsafe

As it turns out, making new year's resolutions is a dangerous activity that leads many to a false sense of self-worth.  It's simply unsafe...

Hillary’s Deplorable, Irredeemable Basement Dwellers Identified?

BALTIMORE, Maryland - By now we have all had the opportunity to hear Hillary Clinton's infamous besmirchments of the irredeemable deplorables who support Donald...

Legislation Should Always Have Safety In Mind

Let's face it.  Our legislators are generally unsafe people.  As such, they tend to pass unsafe legislation.  For instance, of the 30 bills recently before...

Whistle-Blowing Stormtrooper : The Empire Never Listened to Me

The odds are very good that you have never heard the name, Jace Chee. He spent his working years as a rank and file...

Hair color specific police reports make men unsafe.

There are many things that separate and make us different than everyone else. We have different races, genders, orientations, and many more specific traits...

Thirteen Questions with Ben Carson

Recently, and you don't need to know how, I came across Dr. Ben Carson's phone number. I decided a text message interview would be...