The Color Pink Linked to Outbreak in Breast Cancer
A new groundbreaking study will change the way we view breast cancer forever. This vile, disgusting disease that affects so many will soon be brought...
Angry Thoughts Contribute to Global Warming
Have you ever been so mad that your body heats up, your face turns red, and you start to shout? We have all been...
Amazon : Forget Drones, Wormholes are the Future
GENEVA, Switzerland - The future is now, but it is not the future we were expecting. Geneva, Switzerland is all abuzz, as is the...
Hand Sanitizer: Does It Make You Clean?
MEMPHIS, Tenn. - Hand sanitizer has quickly become the most popular way to wash our hands after using the restroom. It drys on its...
Aliens Make Contact: Stop Giving Stars Stupid Names.
TACOMA, Wash. - Yesterday evening the National Star Registry (NSR) in Tacoma, Washington received a very special visit from a galaxy far far away.
I...
Sewer Rats in Los Angeles Becoming Sentient
LOS ANGELES, California - Recent findings by scientists studying the rat problem in Los Angeles are frightening, as well as exciting. Sewer rats have...
People Named Paul, Likely Serial Killers
Where the Hell is Paul? We all ask this question, at least any of us who know Paul. He never seems to be around...
Cats Don’t Have 9 Lives, Federal Study Finds
ANTIOCH, Ohio - Researchers at the small animal and rodent research labs at Ohio University have recently released several years worth of research aimed...
Scientist Discover That Most People Are Completely Useless
Western culture tends to push the narrative that everyone is a unique snowflake, each with his/her/zer own worth, value, and abilities. Western culture is wrong....
Walmart to Replace Stockers With Robots, Reactions Mixed on Stangflip strategy
BENTONVILLE, Arkansas - The Walmart corporation, the largest retailer in the world, is preparing to replace more than half of their overnight shelve stocking...