Uber has no restroom hand washing policy

Investigations often bring to light interesting facts not related to the original investigation. This was the case when we at I.S. began investigating Uber (The quasi-nationwide taxi service) and their hiring practices due to recent issues with employees. What we uncovered turned out to be far darker, and far more sinister than anything we anticipated. According to A former employee, and Uber’s own user handbook we have learned that the transportation giant has no hand washing policy. According to a current employee, whom we shall refer to as Peter, the company has been aware for some time that the automobiles are filled with bacteria and potential illness and failed to act.

I advised them (Uber management)  several times about my concerns and was treated as if I was some kind of idiot.  I told them that sometimes I enjoy allowing my passengers to sit in the passenger seat with me, so we can share a bag of chips.  Right now, there is no way for the passenger to know whether or not my hands are clean without the company’s intervention. – Billy Jack Armstrong – Uber driver

According to Doctor Mia Dumbich from Norway’s Vregerspugein Clinic, dangers exist that could bring the transportation giant to its knees.

I believe that Uber is in a unique situation to show how the safety of their passengers is paramount. They (Uber) have ignored  their responsibilities and have put their  passengers in a illness threatening situation.  I fear for the health and safety of all of the unfortunate passengers. – Dr Dumbich

When reached for comment Uber released the following statement.

We apologize for any inconvenience our dirty employee’s hands have caused. We just assume they would be smart enough to handle this on their own. In fact, why don’t you all just buy your own car so you wont have to worry about this. Anyway we will begin asking our drivers to wash their hands so you can all feel better. – John Hansen (Uber Vice President of Media Relations).