College Graduates Eight Times More Likely to Die in Skydiving Accidents
Recent statistics point to a disturbing trend in recreational fatalities. According to the CDC, people with a college education resulting in a bachelor's degree...
Vermin Supreme: A Peaceful Protest Erupts Alongside Violent Ones
It's no secret that we have enthusiastically endorsed the candidacy of Vermin Supreme. We felt that his platform was the only one firmly rooted...
88 Generals Endorse Trump, Hillary Incredulous
WASHINGTON, D.C.- The Trump campaign on Tuesday released a list of 88 current and former generals and admirals that have given Mr. Trump their...
Anonymous hacker to Muppets : Your days of innuendo and euphemism...
SESAME Street, U.S.A. -
Why did you click this? Anonymous doesn't work this way and the muppets? C'mon man. Though I suppose we believe every...
Homeland Security: We Can Only Afford to Protect 45 States
WASHINGTON D.C. - In an unexpected, and stunning announcement from the DHS (Department of Homeland Security) undersecretary to the deputy chief of the Vice...
Surviving Alien Abduction: A Users Guide for 2016
Every passing year brings with it more tales of abduction and horrors orchestrated by our visitors from above. From simple sightings to full horrifying...
Cops: We’re not Racist, Just Too Out-of-Shape to Chase You
Chicago, Ill - We have all grown accustomed to hearing the horror stories of young minority citizens being gunned down in the streets by...
Florida Company Says: Safer Meth Labs on the Horizon
TALLAHASSEE, Florida - There is scarcely a person alive in the United States who has never heard of Crystal Meth, or Methamphetamine, or Meth,...
In Effort to Prevent Future Beatings, United Airlines Implements Passenger Safewords
CHICAGO, IL - Embattled United Airlines announced today that it would make changes to passenger boarding procedures to prevent future beatings. The airline, as...
Shark Week Surpasses Superbowl Week for Highest Domestic Violence
CHICAGO, Ill - Superbowl week has long been known as the week of the year that boasts the most reported domestic violence cases nationwide. For...