Clown sightings on the rise. Wookies to the rescue?

PITTSBURGH, Pennsylvania - If you have been paying attention to the news at all in the last couple of weeks I am sure you...

Allah to Followers: If I Wanted the Infidels Dead I Would...

TEHRAN, Iran - Allah, the great and merciful God of the Muslim religion has the power to create great floods, send earthquakes to level...

Spousal Murder Far Less Expensive Than Divorce

We've all seen episodes of Forensic Files and Snapped and wondered why or how a person could murder their spouse.  Isn't it easier to...

Homeland Security: We Can Only Afford to Protect 45 States

WASHINGTON D.C. - In an unexpected, and stunning announcement from the DHS (Department of Homeland Security) undersecretary to the deputy chief of the Vice...

ISIS to Begin Using Softer, Gentler Ways to Punish Infidels

DAMASCUS, Syria - Economic struggles worldwide have hit everyone and terrorists are not immune to the struggles of making ends meet. Tourism has decreased...

North Carolina: Screw it, You Can All Wear Diapers

DURHAM, North Carolina - News out of North Carolina has been tumultuous over the last week, to say the least. Governor Pat McCrory (R)...

Company Seeks to Challenge (to the Death) People Who Overuse ‘Literally’

SEATTLE, Washington - Perhaps the most often uttered, and completely idiotic, phrase in the United States is, "I'd literally kill for a cup of...

Hole In Ozone Layer Seems to Follow Ted Cruz

OCALA, Florida - Just as the Ted Cruz campaign begins to gain momentum we are being informed of some breaking news that could shake...

Cops: We’re not Racist, Just Too Out-of-Shape to Chase You

Chicago, Ill - We have all grown accustomed to hearing the horror stories of young minority citizens being gunned down in the streets by...

Congress Proposes ‘Rape Free Zone’ Legislation to Curb Sexual Assault

WASHINGTON, DC - Rape is an issue on the minds of many women and men across the Unites States, and our congress has finally...