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Chipotle Roulette – Because We Know You Can’t Resist

DENVER, COLORADO - A new marketing campaign by America's favorite premium fast food chain, Chipotle, is sticking it's thumb right in the eye of...

Spousal Murder Far Less Expensive Than Divorce

We've all seen episodes of Forensic Files and Snapped and wondered why or how a person could murder their spouse.  Isn't it easier to...

Ghost of Mohamed Atta: There is no Allah, Hell Not So...

AFGHANISTAN - Clerics in Jalalabad have revealed that the ghost of Mohamed Atta has made contact with them in their meditations.  He has informed...

Democratic cannibalism- not the same as traditional cannibalism

San Francisco, California - Cannibalism has failed every time it's been tried. No society has ever sustained itself on a diet which included human meat....

Clown Activists Contemplating Lawsuit for Rights Violations

WASHINGTON D.C.- Clown lives matter? Today thousands of clowns from across the nation have descended on the Capital to protest, what they believe, are...

‘A’ For Amnesty – Illegal Immigrants Begin Wearing Large Red A...

SAN FRANCISCO, California - Sometimes it's difficult to know who your enemies are, but even harder to know which are your friends.  That is...

Nose Pickers Healthier and Live Longer

It is maybe the biggest taboo in American culture. It is one of the fastest ways to become ostracized from the rest of society....

Practice Safe Gerbiling: Why Duct Tape is Necessary

In relation to a recent post on the subject of polyembolokoilamania, we mentioned that people were sticking all manner of things into their bodily...

College Graduates Eight Times More Likely to Die in Skydiving Accidents

Recent statistics point to a disturbing trend in recreational fatalities.  According to the CDC, people with a college education resulting in a bachelor's degree...

List of Muslims who have condemned the Orlando terrorist attacks.

The following is a list of the brave Muslims who have condemned the attacks in Orlando.     End of list.