NFL Set to Expand Sidelines to Accommodate Parole Officers
NEW YORK, New York - The National Football League has announced an unprecedented on-field expansion to accommodate the large number of parole supervisors who...
Most ‘Best Dad’ Claims Based on Tiny Sample Set
WASHINGTON, D.C. - A new study based on fathering data demonstrates that most children mistakenly believe that their father is the world's best dad....
Jared: From Pitching Subs to Tossing Salads
Jared Fogle has had quite an interesting couple of years. He has gone from one of America's top advertising faces with Subway restaurants to...
Tom Brady Caught Cheating During Family Game Night.
QUINCY, Mass - Times just continue to get more difficult for Tom Brady. Arguably the greatest quarterback in the history of the NFL finds...
Energy Drinks Lead to Dressing Like a Douche
SCOTTSDALE, Arizona - Consumption of energy drinks is growing exponentially, especially among young men with a penchant for acting stupid, dressing stupidly, and doing...
Cheap Chinese Eucharist Carcinogenic, Catholics Upset
BRAINTREE, Massachusetts - The holy sacrament of the Eucharist is as much a part of the Catholic lifestyle as shaking hands during the Peace segment...
Erotic, Auto-Erotic Asphyxiation Do’s and Don’ts
SCHENECTADY NY - Since the death of David Carradine due to auto-erotic asphyxiation, the practice has not only been on the radar of many...
Racist Police Steal AR-15″s, Exposives From Refugees
DALLAS, Texas - Police in Dallas, Texas are coming under fire for the arrests of eight Syrian refugees on weapons, explosives, and grand theft auto...
Use of Word ‘Kardashian’ Shown to Cause Drastic Drop in IQ
STANFORD - Scientists with the legendary Center for Advanced Study in Intellectual Sciences at Stanford University study human intellect. They test all facets of...
Ms. ISIS Beauty Pageant Ends in Controversy
DAMASCUS Syria - The first ever Ms. Isis beauty pageant was hailed as the biggest event in Syria in decades and lived up to...