A new trend is sweeping the nation. It’s called “red lighting”. Activists are changing their normal white porch light bulbs with special red bulbs letting the world know This is a gun free home.
According to Jane Seymore, director of operations for the Department of Protecting Everyone (DOPE), we will soon see millions of homes adorned with red bulbs.
It is clear to me that everyone is looking for a safer environment to raise their children. A gun free safe home is everything America is supposed to be. – Seymore
So far many of America’s largest retailers have been selling out of the red bulbs more quickly than they can stock them. “We can’t get them in fast enough. They are flying off the shelves.” Claims Bill Barskey president of marketing research for Walmart, “As soon as we get them in there is a line of well-intentioned people buying them up.”
Not everyone is excited about this idea. Our reporters spoke with Americans on the street to get their opinions and they were mixed.
This is the dumbest thing I have ever heard of. Red lights are for the bedroom and thanks to you I can’t find any now. – Carlos
My home has red lights on both the front porch and the back. We have strings of red lights in the trees to let everyone know we are a gun free home. -Hillary
This is crazy how dumb can you……. wait, uh this is actually a good idea. I’m glad that gun-free homes will have red lights. Good for you. I love this, -Tyrone
As we all are immersed in the sea of red protective lights be sure to remember that the red light means a gun free zone so all of you would-be attackers and thieves please leave your guns at the door.
morons, who do you think is getting the next home invation??
Hardly anyone shoots an actual robber anyways. What are the stats on robberies on homes ending with the owner killing the robber? How many robberies have ended up with someones guns being stolen? Theres a lot more facets to this then just the surface.
Maybe you haven’t heard. The media doesn’t report stuff that they don’t find news worthy. I know, I know. Hard to believe, but it’s true. lol
3 have been 3 successful home owner defensive shootings this week alone in my state. Local news doesn’t report it because it show people doing the right thing and unfortunately that is not news any more.
They have Green Lighted themselves ! Naive’ idiotic morons !
Always knew they’re whores, now they’re advertising it at home!
What’s the prices for “Long time, Short time” and BJ’s?
Wow so home invaders know the bitches who won’t give a fight
This is so stupid “Here come rob and murder me “
Apparently the “Red Light” aspect is being lost on people….
It certainly is Brent Irwin.
Whoever you are posting this, it is among the most stupid, written dribble I have ever read.
This is especially an effective statement for The Police….
Red lights mean hookers not pussies.
I think I’ll put a red light up just to trick them .
This is so effen stupid.
It’s called satire. So who’s actually stupid?
Wow! I just don’t know what to say. Wow.
Advertising to the criminals freaking idiots
Its ok, its called darwinism, let the stupid and the weak pass why the strong and smart survive.
Yeah I’m ready for America to trim the fat and let these ass holes all die
Not a single “red light” anywhere that I have seen…but rather Molon Labe flags and flags that depict the crossed barrels of two AR-15 rifles with the words “come and take them” below.
The “new trend” is ABSOLUTE RECORD BREAKING firearms and ammunition sales for the past EIGHT years. The “new trend” can also be considered the number of citizens choosing to secure a concealed carry pistol permit…literally millions of people now carry a concealed pistol every day…EXCEPT of course in crime plagued areas like Chicago and New York…in those areas, only the criminals have guns.
Haha let those worms die off
RED LIGHTING IS FOR ,,,,A WHORE HOUSE
I bet there will be an influx of home break ins… Benjamin James LeBlanc Brian Apple Patrick Spann Leon Veillon
Are these people fucking retarded?
Red light special
How much for a FJ
What idiotic people. It’s like an advertisement to robbers of which homes are safe to invade. Of course if you want to be sneaky like me, I will be in stalling a red light in the hopes that I can ambush a few unsuspecting wastes of humanity.
As a burglar, this pleases my greatly.
Thats to show that a prostitute is on duty.
Those who are anti 2nd amendment should be required to post gun free zone signs on their doors.
Communist red, very fitting. Hopefully burglars know to target these homes, knowing the home owners aren’t armed.
Don’t the red lights mean it’s a house of Ill repute? Good luck if there’s any confusion. Hahahahahaha
good way to let robbers know dumbasses live there
We should put up red lights just so we can sit in the house and wait, ready…
Red lighting doesn’t mess up your night vision when it’s back lighting an intruder coming thru the door.
This is about as stupid as stupid gets.
Red light use to have a different meaning
Arrogant fools announcing their defenselessness.
Let them get knife fucked who cares
I just don’t want good people deprived of their right to self defense as a result of all of this mindlessness.
I can hear Tom Bodett now, “Come on in and rob us, we’ll leave the red light on for ya.”
All criminals say thanks and see you soon
Yep…..that’s the house to rob tonight….
Hahaha here’s your sign
Wow great job idiots
I thought that meant “Whore House”
Where I’m from that is what it means
Pussification of America continues where are the real Americans
Need me a red light. 😉
Lol now they know wat house to rob
Show the thugs, burglars, rapists,murderers, sexual predators exactly where live and you are defenseless,you people are absolutely stupid.
Good to let the burglars know which houses don’t have guns…dumb asses
If this is the same Jane Seymour from DR. QUINN MEDICINE WOMAN I’m not surprised. That was a show of left wing propaganda. A female doctor in 19th century America, when few could even read and nurses were few and far between.
Red light zone led, a lunatic idea led by a lunatic liberal.
Hey, I have cash money,electronics and jewelry in my home. I have no guns. So like Tom Bodette says, We’ll leave the light on for you.
Okay, that one made me chuckle. Nicely done.
Ought to be appreciated by the bad guys.
One of the dumbest ideas I have heard of in a long time.
Well, criminals will appreciate the easy pick.
That’s awesome yall keep doing that and I’ll keep my brass in the yard
Sweet!! Won’t have to worry about my home getting broken into!!
red light districts? wasnt red light districts a way for prostitutes to announce their were abouts? its nice that the criminal can now pick his victims with out getting shot
Brings new meaning to the idea of window shopping
Just leave the door open to have your things taken and your family harmed or killed people
Umm…. aren’t red light for whore houses??
It’s really a green light for criminals ! LOL
They got that idea at Home Invasion r Us
Hopefully they don’t get too mad when drunken Marines show up wanting some action.
It’s a parody people!!! SMH.
What color for heavily armed?
Oh please… do this. 😀
I might change all my neighbors lightbulbs to red to keep crooks off my house.
Guess they just made criminals lives easier
At least MaMa want stay awake worrying about her little thug getting shot while he is robbing dem fools.
her baby dindu nuffin.
I’m gonna change my light to red….I’ve been dying to try out these new hollow points
I like the way you think lol
Easy target for criminals!!!
Outstanding! Now the criminals will know right where to go for 0 resistance.
I hope their stuff is crappier then mine that way the burglars have to make a tough choice lol
yes this is the newest welcome sign for bad guys I dont use a porch light at all I use night vision so
Can I get the red lights, charge the Johns, and rob the home invaders?
Well, they be crying for safe space after they get robed, rape and whatever else, hey bur Hillary bw happy!!!
This has to be a troll site. Department Of Protecting Everyone? (DOPE)?
We prefer the term ‘satire.’
Idiots. That’s a neon sign that says safe target to rob
Great. Now the home invaders know where to go.
Advertising to armed criminals out there that you are unarmed and defenseless… GOD!!! The stupid burns!!!
Believing a ridiculous article on a site that describes itself as satirical, and has a disclaimer? Not picking up on the very obvious clues in the article?
Hey guys. Sssssssshhhhhhh!!! Just pass it on let problem sort it’s self out. bwahahahah
^ he gets it…
Rob the house with red lights
How dumb can you be
Don’t ask, someone will think it’s a challenge
Good. Now the criminals will know exactly where to go, and they can leave my house alone.
Sign on my property reads: Nothing in my home is worth losing your life over.
That is just saying “Come rape me and my whole family and the kill us and take our stuff. It’s like the blue light special at Target (where you don’t want to use the bathroom) if you’re a female that doesn’t want to be raped by an illegal alien from Iran.
Pffft…they’ll have red lights out side but be inside like this…
Good now we know who to rob
Red lights used to mean open for business, hint, hint… Guess they still do, LOL ROXANNE, You don’t have to turn out the red light!
Brain dead. Liberals???
hey twatwaffles a red light is the signal the bitch inside is a whore looking for buisness hence the phrase RED LIGHT DISTRICT. FN RETARDS !!!!
Let the crooks know the house with the red light on is a easy target. Who ever thinks this stuff up, wow
Thought a red light meant it was a whore house
Funny was as a child red light ment a house of ill repute or whore house. I got a 9mm glock in december. My first gun. Why would people advertise they are unarmed especially in America today
This is a great idea. The bad guys know who to rob and ones not to be missed with. I challenge anyone who falls for this BS pay for there funeral and a sum of money to the spouse or children. If thay are wounded you pay hospital cost and disability for the rest of there lives. Good God dont tread on me
Awesome now the crooks know which victims are unarmed….idiots.
Lack of common sense is becoming very dangerous for two reasons… It shows your (1) Stupidity! & (2) Your a Hillary Sheeples!
Not at my house. Mine will be green or blue.
Surely people aren’t that dumb!!! They might as well put up a big sign that says, “Come on in and take what you want, because we have no way to defend ourselves!!”
I am sure bad guys have this idea figured out!
This is supposed to be funny, right?
They tell you not to let or show people that your not going to be home or on vacation, but it makes sense to tell them you can’t protect your home from intruders. “”THE BRITISH ARE COMING”” only this time it’s probably not going to be the British!!
Really??? That’s not what red lights are about. Just saying.
Aahh they ain’t nobody that stupid…..are they?
Karl Freischlad is this a joke?
I didn’t even bother opening the article. The caption said nough
I thought red lights meant that a whore lived there and is open for business haha
That’s true lol
Haha fucking liberals
Karl Freischlad You should really read the article. You’re missing out by skipping it.
I hope this is a joke if not there will be a lot of break ins they will leave gun owning homes for last.
Hope this is a joke , if not a more suiting name would be “I am a sitting Duck” the key is under the Matt .
Lol, hope every one of those homes get broken in to
What a bunch of idiot victims in waiting.
In related news burglaries up 3000% on hones with red lights
Yup, if my neighbors have their red lights on, come on in, rape the wife, molest the children, murder the husband as they do not have guns to protect themselves.
Rob my house lights.
It’s like an open sign for bad guys
BLM advertisement for” Rob me!,Rob me!”
Nothing beats a “Rob this idiot’s home FIRST” sign on the door. Any neighbors that do this had best not come banging on my door for help.
Well that’s good robbers will know its safe to rob mothers wont have to worry about their thug sons getting killed if they stay in gun free zone to rob
I thought red light meant fire station or whore house!
Dumbass idea!!! Hey criminals come rob, rape, and kill me and my family because I’m a fat pussy with no guns to defend my family and myself and stay alive!!!
Who else has red? China? This is totally whack!
LOL Go camping with a pork chop around your neck, it’s quicker.
That’s smart. Lets advertise that we don’t have a means to protect ourselves. I’m wondering how long this will last once the criminals hear about this. They will know exactly which homes to hit and which ones not to. I predict police chiefs and sheriffs will be on tv soon telling people to stop this because they are making themselves targets
That probably the dumbest idea I’ve hear all week.
If people had actually read the article, that would have been obvious. Since they didn’t, they looked rather foolish by sharing it.
Stupid dumb idea
You liberals are a bunch of dumb fucking idiots
Great, now all would be burglars know which house to case! Stupid idea.
INVITATIONS TO B ROBBED MURDERED. IGNORANCE AT ITS BEST
Stupid is as stupid does!!
Dept. of protecting everyone. D.O.P.E.
It’s satire. Don’t be so gullible people
There is no prize for pointing out that satire is satire. There is a prize for letting it run its course, though. That prize is the joy you get from reading the comments. Why would you bother posting this?
Because I despise rampant misinformation that just snowballs and warps people’s already biased opinions
There’s an immediate consequence for not doing one’s own research. Let people suffer that consequence.
They don’t though. They just share and spread the bullshit until it’s so wide spread and diluted that most just take it as fact even when someone proves otherwise.
You should adopt a more Discordian view of things. It makes life way more interesting.
True liberal propaganda. Disarm the public so they become complacent and totally dependant on the government to ‘Save’ them instead of being armed and ready to defend themselves. The police can’t be there instantaneously people!! Sometimes you have to be willing to fight… Anyone who participates in this deserves to get robbed from their sheer lack of common sense and utter stupidity. The government fears the people, why do you think they’re really trying to take guns away and brainwashing us to willingly give them up…. Don’t be fooled my American brothers and sisters
Are you possibly that Stupid!!
I love this idea. What better way to unite in solidarity across America? Anybody who gas any sense of patriotism will be rushing out to buy as many red lights as they can afford. This type of display of commraderie is what America was built on. Stand proud and display you red lights!
What a great idea! I will light up my home red ignoring the Second Amendment telling all of the criminals ,burglars, and rapists that I have nothing to defend myself with when they steal from me and rape me! 5 out of 5 stars!
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I can not believe the stupidity of those that believe house owners actually believe home owners actually put red porch lights to indicate a gun free zone. They must be the same ignoramuses that voted for President Trump.