List of People Fleeing the Country if Trump Elected

A tremendous number of people have publicly stated their desire to flee the country if Donald Trump is elected. Their reasons are many and...

President Trump Signs Executive Order Making Everything You Read Today Literally...

In a late night Oval Office session yesterday, President Trump signed an executive order making everything you read today literally true.  Spokespeople for the...

Kim Jong-Un releases Netflix and Chill safety video.

North Korea's supreme leader Kim Jong-Un has released a safety video to his people entitled "Netflix and Chill Why America is the Devil." Though...

Jared: From Pitching Subs to Tossing Salads

Jared Fogle has had quite an interesting couple of years. He has gone from one of America's top advertising faces with Subway restaurants to...

Google Announces New Occult Search Service

Google, Inc. has announced a new search service for occult grimoires and spells, as well as lore and legends for occult deities and creatures....

Hillary Clinton to be Awarded Bronze Star for Gallantry

ARLINGTON, Virginia - During a surprise press conference this afternoon President Obama announced that he will award former Senator, and Secretary of State Hillary...

Thirteen Questions With Hillary Clinton

We're not even sure how a rinky-dink outfit like us scored this interview.  I think some confused staffer dropped us in the wrong pile....

Confirmed: Hillary Clinton Murdered a Baby With a Hammer

That's right, folks.  Hillary Clinton, the de facto Democratic nominee, and potential next president of the united states beat a tiny, innocent baby to...

President Obama Ready to Announce his “Adopt a Refugee” Policy

WASHINGTON D.C. - President Obama is taking no prisoners when it comes to the safety and well being of Syrian refugees seeking asylum in...

Bernie Sanders to Use Nickname “Mango” in an Effort to Win...

BURLINGTON, Vermont -"Lifting up his head he feels the sunlight in his eyes." Bernie Sanders, embroiled in a long tough fight with former Secretary of...