Susan G. Komen Declares War On Pink… Salt?
The Susan G. Komen Foundation is making a Trump-esque play for all things pink. It claims ownership of the color and the word, and...
Racist Police Steal AR-15″s, Exposives From Refugees
DALLAS, Texas - Police in Dallas, Texas are coming under fire for the arrests of eight Syrian refugees on weapons, explosives, and grand theft auto...
Clown sightings on the rise. Wookies to the rescue?
PITTSBURGH, Pennsylvania - If you have been paying attention to the news at all in the last couple of weeks I am sure you...
ISIS to Begin Using Softer, Gentler Ways to Punish Infidels
DAMASCUS, Syria - Economic struggles worldwide have hit everyone and terrorists are not immune to the struggles of making ends meet. Tourism has decreased...
Jared: From Pitching Subs to Tossing Salads
Jared Fogle has had quite an interesting couple of years. He has gone from one of America's top advertising faces with Subway restaurants to...
Company Seeks to Challenge (to the Death) People Who Overuse ‘Literally’
SEATTLE, Washington - Perhaps the most often uttered, and completely idiotic, phrase in the United States is, "I'd literally kill for a cup of...
Ohio Man Celebrates 480 Months Heroin-Free
YOUNGSTOWN, Ohio - Perseverant, indefatigable, resolute. One man stands as a testament to the power of the soul over addiction and adds another slash...
ISIS Comedian: Infidels Just Don’t Get Me.
Meet Alwaki Answar Mahammad. By all accounts, he is just your average Libyan citizen. When you dig a little below the surface you find...
Why Your Friends are Voting Trump
EVERYWHERE, America - We know you have asked yourself 1,000 times, 'Why are my friends voting for Donald Trump? Are they this stupid? Why...
Clinton supporter laments: Nobody wants to steal my yard sign
HACKENSACK, New Jersey - Bill Prader has been a democrat his entire life. He has gleefully cast votes for Carter, Mondale, Dukakis, Clinton, Gore,...